i am trying...i really am...thursday i went out to four places and when i got home i had a huge panic attack...i don't know how much longer i am going to be able to deal with this...monday i have to take the city bus...i can't stand the bus...all those people i dont know...i am so worried...i should be fine...i have to deal...i can't just live in a bubble for the rest of my life...or however long this is going to take to get better...i just need to get out of this city...go somewhere for a while...even if its just the weekend...just a little break...oh how i wish dreams came true...to dream is to live without borders.