Journal Entry for August 10, 2008
August 10, 2008 5:50pm
Progress
65 %
ElJew142’s Profile
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ElJew142
is feeling OK
Just wrote an amazing song, posted on songwriters sanctuary
Recently: 2 group discussion posts, 1 journal post more …
About Me
I am a girl who finds the most simpliest and randomest things hilarious. I am straightedge. Uh, I am a very deep and sensitive person, and if you are into having a conversation, well hit me up. I don't bite. I am pretty open minded and down to earth so i am rarely hateful on people, unless they come across wrongly towards me or actually give me a reason to hate them, through personal experience. I am pretty helpful, i love lsitening to people's stories and daily things along with their deep personal such's. (That sounds kind of weird, i had to say it like i was dr.phil lol). I look up to Nikki Sixx, the bassist of Motley Crue, and Sixx: A.M. I have my reasons to. He has overcome depression and drug abuse, along with issues from his childhood that were greatly affecting his life, career and his health. I keep my friends close to me, but not too close. I really only trust one person in my life. And she is the world to me, My best friend. I won't say her name on here because i don't feel it's appropriate to spread her name on the internet. I tend to have two personalities, The happy one that actually sees something of life and tries to make something of it, then there's the side that just gives up on the world and wants to remain in these enclosed walls. I fight those two characters everyday, and sometimes i win, sometimes i lose. That's the way the cookie crumbles. lol :D
Interests
I love dane cook, i think he is hilarious. Same with Adam Sandler, Will Farrel, Dana Carvey and several others. I have a deep love and passion for music. I like writing lyrics and writing songs. It's just something that gets me by that i cannot live without no matter how many close shots and attempts i've had at giving it up, i can never turn away. Whether it's meant to be or Not. I also like writing things like poems and even stories. I am pretty involved with using photoshop. I will make almost anything for anyone, myspace layouts (still figuring that out), banners, picture editing, all of that. I'm thinking of being a designer or something. trying to combine all of my "talents", or the things i love to do and make something special that i can be self-sufficient on also.
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Journal
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i'm ok just sorting out my mood swings lol
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Close Depression - Teen
I have been depressed my entire life pretty much, I've had struggles with handling things. I have grown up with a negative family that honestly could care less about a lot of things. We don't show affection towards each other, and they're one of the reasons i don't believe love really exists. There's been emotional abuse and stuff. Things are sorting out a little but we're still a screwed up family..
Treatments
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- Get's the anger and sadness flowing in a positive way, but doesn't kill it.
- Music Working / Worked
- Music is my life. It helps with everything.
- Pets Working / Worked
- My cat angel actually helps. Her unconditional love and forgiveness (i know she's a cat but yelling at her and she still acts affectionate and stuff... well..?) idunno. It helps and makes me laugh.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- It helps kind of.
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Might help.
- Talking Not Working
- Doesn't work. Get shut down and end up hurting people and myself. Not helpful at all.
- Writing Working / Worked
- helps get rid of a lot of the pain and says the things i need to say.
Open Anxiety
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Family Issues
Me and my family don't really talk much. We do more now then we used to because i've grown up and i've learned to laugh and be a dumbass whenever necessary. My mother and i are close, but there's so many expectations and standards i never meet. My father and i are not close at all. Its a very hate hate/love relationship. We never really exchange love qualities. we are usually getting on each others cases and making the house tense. My brother and i are getting closer now..
Treatments
Open High School Stress
I'm constantly dealing with things from school. I've been judged and everyone thinks that if i get close to them i'll try to steal their boyfriend. Pople think i am a whore, and i am not. AT ALL. I've gotten bullied a lot and people have put drama and blame on me that i don't deserve. I've been welcomed in my weakest darkest moments then they used it all against me.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- Music has always been my way of saying my words and my emotions without being slapped pretty much. It works a lot. but it only numbs the pain, it doesnt make it go away :/
- Pets Working / Worked
- my cat helps a lot actually.. :D
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Wanna go see a counselor and stuff
Open Skin Cancer
Type: OtherMy mother was diagnosed with melanoma in 2006. She's recovered and such, but there is still chances of it coming back to her, or me getting it. I go with her almost everytime to her M.D. Anderson Cancer Center trips in downtown houston.
Open Teen Anxiety
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Shyness
Treatments
- DailyStrength Working / Worked
- Helps 100%
- Pets Working / Worked
- Self-help Somewhat Helpful
- Singing Working / Worked
- I love to sing. I love it so much. It's when i open up and say and do what i need to do while making something i love to make- music.
- Socializing Considering
Open Acne
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Sexual Abuse
In 4th grade i was molested by a kid in my class who had stalked me from 3rd-7th grade. We were out on the hiking trail just outside my elementary school, and we had to carry a log. Him and me were in the back and he was behind me. And well.. That's when he did it. I kept shouting stop, and it only made everyone in front of us mad. So no one did anything.. I didn't tell anyone about it until this year..
Treatments
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
- Helps a lot.
- Leave Working / Worked
- Getting away from him for a year and changing got him to almost forget about me. He hasn't stalked me or anything.. unfortunately, he has talked to me..
- Music Working / Worked
- Always helps
- Talking Working / Worked
- Helped me open up about it. didn't tell anyone about it until 9th grade..
Open Lactose Intolerance
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Rape
I was molested.. not raped.. but this support group still helps me..
Open Multiple Personalities
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Hypothyroidism
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Stress Management
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Healthy Eating
ElJew142 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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Groups
open minds
Ur Not Alone
OUR MUSIC
Whats that smell?
Anything music
Teenage Girls with problems
A Breath of Fresh Air
NEED A GOOD LAUGH
Artists
Photography As Therapy
NIGHT OWL INSOMNIACS
Anti-Miley Cirus
Living Through Writing
anger and venting
Songwriters Sanctuary
TEENS IN NEED
Girls Only
THECHOICEISYOURS
Love yourself before you love anyone else
Survivors band together
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Snapshot
Recently …
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