When?
July 16, 2008 3:49pm
when will i wake up in the morning and not cry? when will the nightmares stop?
i go through each thought of the last year, stunned at what …
wendiana’s Profile
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wendiana
is feeling Bad
with the rain came an ache from my hair follicles to my pinky toes.
About Me
I'm a mom of two - 14 yr old daughter who recently decided to live with her dad (i want her back NOW NOW NOW, he is manipulating her to a creature I no longer recognize.) and an awesome son who is 9. Going thru a icky divorce, because hubby couldn't deal with my health problems or the clutter (cuz I can't DO the housework like I used to)..but many other reasons too. Anyway, life is in a roller coaster state and I'm stressed to the max. Been to several doc's, tired of being told the same thing and no new ideas/answers.
Interests
I enjoy scrapbooking when I can sit up long enough to do it, searching for answers on the internet, playing with my kiddos when I can and used to love to do woodworking, stained glass and any other craft I could get my hands on. I totally miss playing in my GARDEN...and now i have to move--due to the divorce & bankruptcy...ugh. I'll skip that part for now! It's too depressing. Oh yeah, forgot to throw in depression and anxiety plus panic attacks. I'll put that in my list of "crap I have but don't want". lol.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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so tired
June 25, 2008 8:50pm
So today, I got the first support payment. He paid an extra $20 on the $750 arrears. So I can pay my electric bill--and have about 35 cents leftover. …
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looking up
June 10, 2008 6:24am
i've been a bit bored--but shouldn't be, i have plenty to do. just sit here in front of the pc way too long. Need to get in control of my own …
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just here
May 24, 2008 11:45am
so stbx just picked up son for the weekend. we chit-chatted about the puppy. he adores the puppy. said he'd take her in a minute. then he calls …
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Saturday
May 24, 2008 8:50am
My plans for today. Shower. Tidy up some inside. Pack son for overnight at his dad's house. Have neighbor lady come and mow my yard. Be alone. …
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Hugbook
Prayer
I thought my dreams were impossible, but God said, "All things are possible." (Luke 18:27) I was lost and confused. I thought I'd never find a solution, but God said, "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5) I almost gave up. I thought I couldn't do it, but God said, "You can do all things." (Philippians 4:13) I almost quit. I thought my efforts weren't worth the trouble, but God said, "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28) I thought I'd never make it. I thought I didn't have what it takes, but God said, "I'll supply all your needs." (Philippians 4:19) I was worried. I felt trapped beneath a mountain of despair, but God said, "Cast your worries on me." (I Peter 5:7) I thought I couldn't do it, because I wasn't smart enough, but God said, "I give you wisdom." (Corinthians 1:30) I suffered from guilt. I was angry at myself for what I'd done, but God said, "I forgive you." (I John 1:9) I disliked myself. I thought that no one loved me, but God said, "I love you." (John 3:16) I wept, because I was lonely, but God said, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) God Bless You, Teresa
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Prayer
I ask the Lord to bless you as I pray for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. God's love is always with you. God's promises are true. And when you give God your cares, you know God will see you through. May God Bless You. Teresa
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Hug
Angel Wings God took two pair of angel wings, two gentle, loving hands, two eyes that only see the good, a heart that understands, a smile to encourage, love that never ends... He wrapped it up with tender care and called this gift a "FRIEND" I'm so thankful to have you as a friend! Teresa
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Prayer
May God reach down and love you in His own special way. May you know you're loved, each and every day. May you see, from God's dear eyes, the value of your worth. May His love show you the most precious things on this earth. Amen.
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Hug
Your presence is a present to the world. You're unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take the days just one at a time. Count your blessings not your troubles. You'll make it through whatever comes along. Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong. Don't put limits on yourself. So many dreams are waiting to be realized. Decisions are too important to leave to chance. Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets. Don't take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. Remember that a little love goes a long way. Remember that a lot...goes forever. Remember that friendship is a wise investment. Life's treasures are people...together. Realize that it's never too late. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Have health, hope and happiness. Take the time to wish upon a star. And don't ever forget... For even a day... How very special you are. Love, Teresa
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Photos
wendiana hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Degenerative Disc Disease
Stay at home mom of 2 kids, going thru divorce, 4 blown discs in lumbar, 3 in cervical, walk w/ cane or wheeled walker, just trying to find the right treatment. been thru several good & bad dr experiences, tired of being treated badly. On top of all that, fibromyalgia keeps me stiff and achey, so I stretch often and attempt exercise to only get an electric shock from spine. Fun, fun, not so fun anymore. I miss my old life, where I used to garden and have friends & play with my kids outside.
Close Fibromyalgia
My mom, sister & best friend & I have fibro to differing degrees. We are always looking for different approaches, non-evasive home therapies, just trying to maintain our lives on this rollercoaster. (I also have neuropathy & ddd with 7 bad disks--i think my rollercoaster de-railed!)
Treatments
- Cymbalta Not Working
- made my brain feel WEIRD, i had very strange sensations within my skull, will not take this med again!
- Duragesic Patch Working / Worked
- Seems to work, keeps me "level" on pain reducing, but still get major pain, side effects - constipation, sleepiness the first 24 hours, rash with the patch. if i skip a day or two, my body gets REALLY angry with me. i hate being on meds this dangerous, but life without them is back on the couch...again. and i want more to life than just laying around on the couch.
- Elavil Working / Worked
- can't really tell what it is doing for me, even if i miss a couple of days. mentioned this to dr, they say just keep taking it. no side effects that i can tell. OH--it DOES help keep migraines away to a degree, i still get them, but not nearly as oftten.
- Heat Working / Worked
- Comforting, helps me to relax. I use a moist heating pad and/or a rice bag.
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- Don't notice the side effects. Keeps my pins and needles to a minimum. Still have sudden electric shocks that travel thru all nerve endings.
- Ultram Not Working
- Worked for a while, then had a WEIRD reaction to it, coma-like state on the couch, could hear things around me but couldn't respond for what seemed hours but was just 30 minutes. Dr. took me off.
- Zanaflex Working / Worked
- kept nighttime full body muscle cramps at bay, dr took me off to switch to a diff. med.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionBeen depressed off and on my whole life. Family history of it. Just trying to maintain a "happy medium" but my pain levels and life events are pulling me down down down currently.
Treatments
- Cymbalta Not Working
- made my brain and skull feel WEIRD. wanted to eat within ten minutes of taking the med. and eat a LOT. doc took me off after 3 weeks.
- Elavil Working / Worked
- keeps migraines away from time to time. still get them, but not as often.
- Paxil Not Working
- Just never brought me up from my very, very low point. Side effects of tapering off this med was a TOTAL NIGHTMARE even with dr's orders, it was awful. Never do it without consent of dr and help from them.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- i try, but it doesn't always keep me out of the darkness.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- so far, so good.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- too soon to say
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- I thank God for my Mom and my true friends. They keep me laughing thru the tears and pain and help me focus when I am overwhelmed.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Writing Working / Worked
- need to do it mmore often
Open Breakups & Divorce
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Support Groups Working / Worked
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Friends
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Snapshot
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