Andreus's Journal

I'm having mixed day of energy and frustration.  Last week I spent a lot of time on DS, and it has been good for me and good to me--but now I'm trying to make sure that I use it in moderation.
 
A few times in my times of depression in the past I've relied on online communities to keep some level of communication going, while being able to retreat into a smaller real-life world.  It's been so helpful here, but as some other members have confided in me, it can be addictive.
 
Right now all I want to do in life is escape.  I want to escape from feeling shitty.  I want to escape from a slightly uncomfortable living situation.  I want to escape from living in my home town.  I want to escape from making decisions about moving forward in life.
 
From some of these things I wish to evade, I can.  Some of these decisions are in fact life itself.
 
I'm deciding to try and moderate my time on DS so that I don't use it as an excuse to not take GREs, to not continue job searching, to not take care of moving, to not exercise.  I love this community, but I won't love myself if I start living on the as a substitute to the other part of my life.  I also want to toss out my personal belief that there is nothing at all wrong with people who spend loads of time here.  I'd like to be able to do that at some level, but I just can't now.  Not until I get a job, keep moving forward, ect.
 
So that's how I'm feeling today.
 
In other news, job interview number one was fair.  I was glad to go and have the experience, and I do believe they'll call me back.  The basic function of the job is the removal of hazardous chemicals from universities, industrial complexes, research laboratories.   I have a chemistry degree, but a degree is not required.  This frustrates me a little bit.
 
Today I had another interview at a power plant in which my father is an engineer.  The job sounds promising as potential work, albeit temporary (about two months).  However, since I'm a graduated student I might not get a chance to be a summer intern.  This is a bummer because if I could get a summer position I'd have some time to try to stabilize my life and then move forward towards the fall.  THATS what I need right now, a bit more time to reflect.
 
Ugggh.  This did seem like a whiny post today, no?