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Another day and another day dealing with my mother..today she was woe is meing on how much money she has left from my uncle's inheritance,...more than enough for her, and doesn't beleive the state takes eveything when you go in a nursing home..it's better to spend it prior to going in and have a nice life instead of giving it away to the state...anyway she was alluding to how much money she has given me, my husband and the kids...another one of her putdowns of see you aren't doing things right and never have and never will...always finds a way to make that point.
Things are the same with Joel, but at least he is finally feeling like doing something and not just stayiing in the house...this second skin infection took a lot of him and he is really depressed that he won't be able to take remicade or any drug of that type, knowing that we can't afford to pay the copay for Humira, and can't get any help with that, so feels he is shit out of luck...knows he is going to get as bad as he was prior to first infusion, and with summer and all the outside work that needs to be along with cutting 30 cord of wood, he sees nothing but black clouds ahead...I am starting to look into alternative and holistice medicine...suggesting acupuncture, if covered by insurance. anyway it is the same old thing, and after a while I know that my depression will worsen and I will have to really work on using the Dbt skills eveyday, ..oh well, my dbt group will start and I will be able to go there once a week and get away from the family stressers even for an hour, although we talk about how we handle situations, I feel more at ease there and less stressed.
