babyjack9's Journal

Let's see  - somehow the world just keeps moving.  The economy stinks, but, if I'm trying to be positive, I have at least learned that I was overspending anyway, so I have room to cut back (for the moment).  We'll see how long that lasts.

Hmmm...lighter notes - potty training is what it is - painful, arduous, but I keep reminding myself that I didn't have a single friend in high school who wasn't potty trained!

Migraines - well, none so far this week.  Yeah!!!  I think everybody has their certain ailment they hate more than anything.  For my hubbie, it's throwing up - it's a goal of his to never throw up in life.  For me, it's to never have a migraine.  Of course, that doesn't happen.  But, grateful today to have a pain-free head.

Bipolar hubbie - thankfully, he takes his medications and wants to stay on track.  He's also been six months sober now from his addiction to prescription medications.  I don't expect that means smooth sailing, but I've been able to finally stop holding my breath for a little while, and that feels nice. 

Random thoughts - well, it was 9 years ago last week that my best friend died from leukemia.  She was 22, so I've been thinking about funny things she would say to me or different things that struck me.  One thing she mentioned when she was first diagnosed was how time didn't matter at all to her anymore.  I really couldn't grasp the concept, especially since my hubbie and I are both so anal about being super punctual to everything (if not a half hour early), or racing here and there from place to place.  I remember one day she was mentioning how she just sat and stared at this flower (I know, I'm getting corny and teary here) for hours.  It was a purple flower (purple was her favorite color), and how she just marveled and how beautiful it was and that God made it just to be beautiful.  

I think we rush through so many things in our lives that we miss most of what's important.  I just hope when I get to the end of my life I don't end up saying, "Wow, I'm so glad that's over with - I can cross it off my list!" - but, rather, "I'm so glad I took the time to look at that purple flower and that I saw how beautiful it really was."

Like I said, I'm feeling a bit corny and a bit sappy today, but I've had four children and a few life experiences (I'm sure many more to come), so I'm a little entitled. 

Well - an update on my life.  It's been great to meet so many unique, interesting people.  You really learn that everybody has a lot of crap to wade through in this life - isn't it great that we all get to be in it together?  Anyway - my 5 day migraine finally went away - YEAH!!!  So, I'm very grateful today for that.

As for the rest of my life...I can't complain.  I take it day by day, lump by lump.  I have four beautiful children, a husband who loves me, in spite of 13 years of our ups and downs, struggles with his addiction to prescription drugs, his recent diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder within the last six months (although I'm sure it's been there for many years), along with various other dramas - you name it...but I am grateful to be where I'm at today.  Life really sucks sometimes, but it can be really great at other times.  I can say I've really found an amazing strength and peace that comes from being able to forgive someone - not just say it, but to really and truly forgive someone.  There is such an amazing healing and strength that comes with that and I can honestly say that is the best thing I have done in my life - not for other people, but for me, and not just with my husband, but with lots of people I've come across.  I wasted a great deal of time in my life harboring grudges and being bitter and I found that the only thing that did for me was hold me back.  Once I really learned that the only person I was punishing was myself, then I knew I had to really forgive other people in order to move on.

Oh well, there I go again - not brief!!!  Whatever - that's my random thought process.  Like I said - a grateful day!  We'll see what tomorrow brings!  Probably tears (it's potty-training time), but, I was grateful today for one little trickle!!!  We'll see! 

Well - this is my first entry.  I'll keep it brief.  I'm new to this whole thing.  I'm just coming off a five day migraine.  I usually only get them once a month and at that time of the month (yes ladies, you know what I'm talking about).  I figure it averages out to once a week if you count how long they last, though.  Anyhow - this one was especially bad.  Nothing seemed to work, so my doctor finally gave me a Stadol nasal spray since he said at this point none of the triptans were going to work and he put me on a five day course of Prednisone 60 mg - crazy!  Oh well - let's just hope I don't go crazy!  Whoops - may be too late for that.

Anyway - I'm feeling a bit better today - finally, after the nausea from the Stadol subsided and I finally got some sleep (sort of), I'm feeling almost functional today.  Yeah!

I would love to be able to kick this migraine thing in the you know what!  I doubt that's going to happen, though.  I've been through lots of things.  I can't complain, though.  The rest of my life is pretty great.  That's not to say I haven't had my ups and downs.  I don't know who hasn't.  The way I figure, you eventually live long enough (not saying 31 is really all that long), but basically, everyone  has their struggles, they just don't always let on, so you just suck it up and deal with what you have to deal with.

Oh well, like a typical woman I said I'd keep it brief and I didn't.  I hope to meet all you real soon.  Believe it or not, it was my husband who recommended this website.  By the way - he's Bipolar - great, right?  Like I said - you take your trials and deal with them.  That's what life's all about.  God bless you all!!!