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Im a 42 year old male and I serve an Awesome God. Im now 3and1/2 years sober from a 20 year drug/meth addiciton. Im hoping my testimoney will help others that might read it.
You can always call on the Lord and I want people to know this.
The last 20 years I was addicted to an assortment of drugs. But my biggest addiction was Crystalmeth and that took over all the other drugs.
My life was a mess from within, you couldn't tell by lookin at me, I was a miserable mental case sad and suicidal.
My brother passed away in 2002 at the age of 39 and that ruined me. I started to use more meth after he died and my heart was always in physical pain, every time I got high my chest would start having these sever pains and I would use more meth in hoping my life would end
along with my misery and my addiction and my pain and loss of my brother.
There would be times I would be on my knees begging the Lord to take me away, almost threatening my life to Him. Telling Him if its Hell I will go to then let me go. Im tired of this life God PLEASE!
The last time I used meth was the night Jesus came and spoke to me, I believe I was dieing my body and heart was finally giving up.
Overdose is a terrible feeling, I felt the devil pulling on me my mind was in turmoil I was hearing grounded out radio voices in my head, my heart felt as if there was knives going through it and I can hear the devil saying to me in my ear "now you are mine".
Everything was all so crazy, it was like a nightmare while being awake.
Im thinking Im doomed for good now, no way out of this one.
Then I hear clear as ever, "Is this what you want?""this is not what you want." "Call my name and I will help you" " Call my name and I will save you." Jesus? Is that you? Jesus! I love you! Im dieing Jesus, and the devil is pulling on me, he's got his claws deep in my heart, and my mind is going crazy. Jesus Please! Please help me! Save me! I love you!
The chest pains was gone all of the sudden, the misery left too, radio voices where gone, the devil was gone and I felt at sudden peace.
And then it was just me and Jesus. Jesus said speak to me.
Jesus Im so messed up, drugs make me want to die, my brother died and I miss him and want to be with him. Your brother is with me now. Jesus im drug addicted and I cant stop on my own, I need you back in my life Jesus! Please help me!
Jesus said to me in His soft voice, go to sleep and when you wake you will be new again.
I went to sleep and when I woke up the next morning I was no longer addicted to drugs, I actually felt real good, and I never felt good when I woke up,I always woke up needing drugs. But NOT this time. This time I woke up I felt like I never did drugs in my life.
Ive been blessed by the Lord! Jesus saved me!
Comments
Church was having a dance at a building near by and there was a lot of people I didnt know and and alot I did know.
There was a lot of stuff going on all around, the devil was well at work on the outside of this dance.Banks where being robbed there was fighting everywhere shootings and gang violence everywhere. But on the inside of the dance where the Spirit of the Lord was, everything was well and perfect. Me and someone from the church walked outside for a bit to see what was going on and we seen these 7 or 8 little kids gathered around yelling and screaming stab him! Kill him! The closer we got the louder it got and the more hateful it felt. By the time we got there it had stoped. We pushed our way through the kids and saw a little boy about 5 years old laying on the ground holding his belly. And there was another boy about 6 years old standing holding a kinfe in his hand. I said to him what did you do this for?And he said so he can be in a gang and then he took off running with his friends. I looked at the boy on the ground,me and the other person from the church laid our hands on the boy and started to pray for him, it seemed like hours we where praying and suddenly the boy stoped bleeding and he got up and he was made well. The ambulance got there and took him to the hospital to check on him. We went looking for for the other boy, he went inside the church dance and we found him in the eating area with his 2 other friends which where older and more of a bad influence on him.
Iasked him if I could talk to him a minute. I began by asking him if he had any brother or sisters, and then he asked me about the boy and I told him that he was ok,We prayed for him until he was healed and Jesus healed him. Then the boy asked if I was Indian and I told him yes Cherokee.
Then I continued to ask him if he had brother and sisters, and he said he didnt. I told him that the other boy didnt either. Then I told him if he was the one that got stabbed instead and died dont you think your mom would be sad and crying? He began to cry and said yes and then I said well thats how the other boys mom would of felt too. I'm sorry he said. Then I asked him for the knife and I put it in my hand and covered it with my other hand and said touch my hand and if the knife is still there when I open it then that means your heart is turning black, but if it's not and its somthing beautiful then that means your heart is still pure and youhave time.He touched my hand and I opened it and a butterfly flew out and I woke up.
I sure dont know what the deal is with my eyes, but MAN they have been irritated for days now.
Talk about being miserable, this sucks. All red looking.lol.
I never wrote in a journal before so, this is my first time.
I have a dreams and visions journal. Hay maybe I'll start posting my dreams and visions.
will anyone read em?
Comments
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I will read them!!!!!!!!!! Post em!
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REALLY?! OH COOL THANKS!! OK I WILL START TODAY.
you truly are an inspiration!! Keep up the good work!
ttaarraa