Smooch's Journal

Journal Entry for October 20, 2007 Mood

Saturday, October 20, 2007

I am feeling upset today.....the "good" things aren't things that I feel grateful for.....I'm not connecting to anything that I REALLY care about.....

As an example of the "mood" I'm in:

My kitchen appliances were delivered this week

My reaction: Wow is this costing me a ton on my credit card

The contractor is getting the plumbing and electric set up for the cabinets and appliances

My reaction: Why am I getting my kitchen done? What difference does it make, whether I can have a normal, pretty home or not......Does it matter that friends can visit finally? Does it matter that both my son and daughter are thrilled to think that they will be able to have friends over and not feel seriously embarassed?....I realize that this is NOT a logical reaction-one that makes sense....but that's the one I'm having.....I can't deal with therapy anymore....I think that right now, talking is not what I need....I need MOTIVATION....some kind of energy or motion.....or permission? I don't know.....I need to exercise and meditate....doesn't seem so unbelievably hard.....what is my problem....and how do I solve it?

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Comments

Hi, this fast pace society has brainwashed us. We have to have certain things and look a special way to "fit in" and be accepted. Size 3 is ok, not reality! Why are these certain powerful few allowed to screw with us. My kitchen has holes in the wall because the cheap so n so wouldn't care, it bothered me for so long, I don't care now. I know in my heart I'm doing my best for ME, Not what everyone else thinks. You are you. You are a precious child of God. Don't let anyone judge you. I don't want to feel like I'm preaching I'm not. It's what I'm working on now and I know this is truth.
"Don't judge lest ye be judged". I love you for you, not what everyone else thinks. Love and Light,
Donna

dkay