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Smooch's Journal

Journal Entry for September 27, 2007 Mood

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Sept. 27, 2007

I feel yucky today....I'm not sure what's going on....so I'm trying to see what's what. I keep obsessing over a number of negative things....I told my therapist I'm not feeling like I need to go back to therapy...then it hits me that I'm turning away from support....do I need that support? I don't even know...it's a knee jerk reaction..I am upset about drama at work....it is triggering me....people talking crap about each other.. back stabbing.....a lack of rules and communication....I hate it so much....I have spent the past 23 years insulated from this nonsense...it is a complete drain......working is way more than enough....add competing with the people you work with.....it makes for a lousy combination!!!

Next, I am not taking any time to spend time with my body or soul.....it sucks....then, I haven't seen my gb surgeon for a check up...or my nutritionist....I need to have my blood tested for various info before I can see him and I am not taking care of that....I am out of medication and contacted my psychiatrist VERY last minute for refills....waiting with baited breath....I feel like I'm doing too much and my "performance" is suffering..Sloppy, incomplete work...not on my game.....like stuff is unraveling or something.....too many loose ends......yikes....now I know why I feel lousy.....I'm working so much and I'm not scheduling in the rest of my life..........more later....this is making me sick....

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Comments

Sorry you're feeling this way. As far as work goes, I hate to say it, but I think every work place has drama, backstabbers, and trouble makers. Unfortunately they're everywhere you work and it's one of those things that takes a toll on those of us who work for the paycheck and not the soap opera. I hate that you're having to deal with it. :(

I know spending time on you is hard to schedule, but you're the most important person! There is only one special you and you're important enough to take some time for. When you feel overwhelmed, take a breath and call on those who care about you for help if you need to. Of course, we're all here if you need us. I'm sending good vibes your way!

MistyDawn