pechevarria's Journal

Lost for Words Mood

Monday, June 23, 2008 | A Venting story

Well, one of my friends gave me an idea to talk to my friend and let her know how she hurt me. I am a very emotional person so I decided to send her a letter. Attached is the letter:

I hope all is well. There have been a few things that have happened in the past few months that have been on my mind. I am really hurt at how you told me you were having another child. I mean I just lost mine a few weeks prior and out of all the people I know I thought you would be the person that would understand the hurt I was going through, considering you have had prior losses. You called me and started giggling and said, “I’m not sure had to tell you this (giggle), but we are having another baby.(giggle, giggle). Are you okay with it, (giggle, giggle, giggle), How did you honestly expect me to react? I mean I just stopped crying and to hear that, all the pain surfaced all over again. And it felt like it happened all over again. What did you expect me to say? If you were truly concerned with my reaction you would have had Alex tell Ernie and let Ernie tell me. I had the consideration of not telling my cousin I was expecting because I knew she had two prior losses. I was actually trying to avoid her because I didn’t know how to tell her. I made Ernie tell her husband so he could tell her in his own way. And that was coming from a person (me) who has never lost a child, at the time. Honestly, you had no consideration of my feelings. I mean Alex came to the house about two weeks after it happen and I couldn’t even look at him because I was hysterical and I know he most have went home and told you that I wasn’t taking my lose well . I missed a week of work because I was such a mess and could not face anyone, still to this day I wake up crying, but I need to stay strong for my family.I do apologize for not attending Gabi’s birthday party. I made sure my two children were there though. Then, you call up the next day and have some excuse for not taking the kids to Joel’s party, which really hurt. That is the second time you did that to him. I mean, my dearest friend who I look at as another sister had a birthday party the same day as Allie’s and I made sure I attended Allie’s because Ernie considers Alex a brother and I was being supportive of his family. I thought of you as a true friend, I said things to you that I have not said to anyone. Looking back at things you always made yourself at to be the victim and now I’m not so sure that was the case. That is the other reason why I want to get everything out in the open, so people don’t make you at to be the victim. That I have legitimate reasons for not talking to you. I even spoke to a few people and told them the story and they couldn’t believe the insensitivity you had when you told me. I know I tend to over react on things that is why I wanted to get other opinions and all agreed with me. After seeing you at Jeskia and Steve’s wedding, it just brought back all those painful memories of the horrible day, it felt like I was going through it all over again and cried for a whole week. I will really miss the kids and Alex. I have a lot respect for him because he is such a sweetheart, a perfect gentlemen. And Joel just adores him. They had such a great time playing Guitar Hero when Alex was at the house last. My only wish is that the kids can stay close through our husbands; I don’t want to break that up and the friendship of Alex and Ernie because they consider themselves brothers. I apologize for not talking to you in person but I know I would have been worse then how I am now writing this to you. I am sorry if I have upset you, I just had to get this off my chest.

I wish you the best with your new little one.

Well she must have just recieved the letter because she called me to apologize and other stuff. What I'm really speechless about is her last comment which is, "I too hope our husbands can stay friends but I don't see how that is possible." I'm lost for words, how can you tell my husband who he can be friends with. They were friends before they new us, and I don't have the right to tell mt husband he can't be friends with hers. This is something we do when we are in Middle School not grewn adults. This all proves to me that I made the right decision and I really don't need people like that in my live. Sorry for rambling on. Thank you all and I love you!!!!