EllaS's Journal

I'm having a flashback and this is the first place I thought of to come to. I'm dealing with it by rambling to my journal. I believe this is better than resorting to my usual routine of stuffing my mouth with junk food and soft drink, call it a new way to battle the bulge, writing has been the best way to vent my frustrations all along, what an idiot I was to think that junk food was the only way I could cope, wow I'm so amazed at how I was fooled by my abuser to think I would never be able to cope with simple day to day things like my diet and my memories, when the truth has always been that I am able, I am able and very capable of dealing with anything that it tries to throw at me, so shame on the abuse for making me feel the way I have felt for so many years, but guess what, who's the fool now, who's diminishing with each and every little step I am taking toward truth and light, as the light gets brighter and bigger the darkness that abuse represents gets smaller and tinier, I hope and pray that I will never ever have to face that kind of abuse again, any abuse for that matter, not that I ever have to worry anymore because abuse is nothing more than a pathetic little attempt to get attention that it doesn't deserve, anybody that pays it attention is obviously in need of help, as victims of abuse we need desperately to focus all our attention on all that is good and true, if we waste our time on all the negative stuff of the abuse, we are missing out on all the good stuff that is all around us, it's kind of like a nasty little drug that may become addictive, and another thing it is not my abuse, we should never refer to it as our abuse because abuse belongs to the person who committed the act, they are the ones who need to suffer, not us, not me, I have a story about abuse and that's it, it's a story of abuse not a story of my abuse, stories are universal, so everybody reads, hears and sees them, some are interesting, some are boring, some are stupid, some are enlightening, some are great, some not so great, some are true, some are makebelieve, some make alot of money, some are highly recommended, some are made into movies, some are performed on stage, some inspire music and songs, some inspire paintings and sculptures, some become pieces of art, some are offered as gifts to friends, some are studied, some are criticized, some are for children, some are for adolescents, some are for babies, some are for parents, some are for all ages, some are for nzers, some are for ozlians, some are for americans, some are for italians, some are for royalty, some are for peasants, lots and lots and lots and lots of stories, everywhere, everyday being read, told or seen.