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angelblessed626's Journal

The Death Of An Angel Mood

Sunday, May 18, 2008 | A Tragic story

The death of an angel took place on wednesday March 9th 2005. It all started the saturday before. My friend asked me to watch her little sister, my daughters best friend, because she was moving and thier mother and she were fighting so Ronnie needed a safe place to stay. I had no problem with this because I adored Ronnie and thought of her as my own child. I asked her if she was hungry and she asked if I could make her some of my special home-made pancakes that she loved. I said no problem. She ate the hole stack and asked for more. I made her more and loved watching her devour them. She stayed through monday then her sister, whom she lived with, come to pick her up. It was two days later the morning of march 9th that I got the phone call that Ronnie, her sisters step-daughter and her grandma had been in a car accident. It was a very foggy day and the car they had been riding in was hit on Ronnies side by a simi truck as they were making the turn onto the street thier school was on. The car then spun around and was hit by a large RV. I was told Ronnie was being taken to the community hospital. My neighbor and I rushed down town and was told she had been flown to children's hospital. I drove to childrens breaking every speed limit on the way. When we arrived I lied to the nurse and told her I was family so she would let me in to where the family was waiting. I walked into the room and was then taken into the ICU unit where Ronnie was fighting for her little life. When I looked at her I seen tubes coming out of the top of her little head and tubes were pertruding from her mouth and nose. She was still bloody and there was machines in every available space in the tiny room. To my left there was a dr and several nurses and to my right were her mother and sister. I asked the dr what each machine was for and while he was telling me one machine started beeping loudly. I looked at the dr and he said she was losing the fight to live. At that moment her mother and sister ran from the room. I was dumb-founded. I was not going to let that little angel die alone without having the arms of someone that loves her wrapped around her. So, I went to her bed and the dr said I could hold her. I gave her permission to go and I told her I would do my best to help her family through the pain of losing her. Less than five minutes later I was holding the lifeless little body of the sweetest little angel God had ever blessed me to know. I was able to stay dry-eyed until the dr told me there was no earthly reason she had held on this long. He believed she had waited for me to get there before she let go.
Several days later my family and I attended her funeral services. Since Ronnie had loved butterflies her family had planned for her friends to let go of some ballons and let them fly up to heaven to Ronnie. My eight year old daughter held a giant butterfly ballon to send to heaven. It was amazing....she let go and the ballon had floated about 25 to 30 feet up then it slowly turned around as if to look at everyone. It swayed as if to wave goodbye. It then slowly turned back around and sped off to catch up with the other ballons. It was truely a magical moment. One I will hold with me until the day I pass on. I believe it was Ronnies way of saying goodbye. To this day I am unable to drive in foggy weather and everytime I see a brown eyed, dark haired little girl I feel the loss all over again. My daughter is doing better than I am. The day of the accident my bf had taken my two daughters to my oldest daughters therepy appointment so when I called to tell him Ronnie had passed the therapist (also my therapist) was there to help break the news to the girls. I was so greatful for the wonderful timing. Everyone arrived home at the same time. We all held eachother and cried all night long. For months every now and then we would find something that Ronnie had left at our house the weekend before that horrible day. My daughter cleared out one of her dresser drawers and keeps the items in there. It has truly helped her with her grieving. My daughter is better but I have yet to find peace. I'm sorry this is so long but I really needed to write it...Thank you for taking the time to read it.