Im1's Journal

I'm at  work on the 4th - bummer!  I started the day with a great attitude and plans to step out of my comfort zone and go over to a friends house later today but as time is going by, I am starting to really feel depressed.  My ex is begging me to come back to him but I know he is still smoking pot and I will not be with him if he is not sober - no exceptions.  Besides, I think that relationship is really over now.  The good feelings are all gone.  So, I am feeling guilty that he is sad and missing me and I don't feel the same.  I am also feeling sad that what I thought was sort of a date is probably more like a "stop and say Hi" kind of deal.  I'll do that - I just really want someone to want my attention.  I want to be wanted.  I want someone out there to be eagerly anticipating me being with them.  I understand it's just an attention thing and I'll get over it.  It's probably worse because I am sitting here in an empty lab - the only one here working.  It's lonely and depressing.