Sorry I've been gone
August 2, 2008 12:38pm
Hello DS friends. I have to apologize for not being around the past few weeks. I've been feeling like a loner and been busy with the job hunt. …
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listless’s Profile
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About Me
I am recovering from a lengthy illness where I was an invalid for a # of years. While walking I always thank God that I can. I am most challenged by the effect this has on me socially. My anger is strong at times and volatile but I've made huge strides through the help of this website, medication, and my psychotherapist. I find I am able to "let things go". I have hope in Christ and the future. I have bad days but the good days are more often. I have GI trouble and neurological troubles related to PTSD. I am studying as of new botany so I can hopefully return to work in a florist shop. I am happily with Tom and baby Lab Clarke. I worked as a cook/baker/manager for 13yrs and did a few other jobs or a bunch other jobs. I love my friendships here.
Interests
Now that I have some pain management I am interested in life. Into floral designing and hope to make a career out of it soon. Gardening, learning patience again, developing my relationship with Tom and learning about life through my pups eyes. I do art and write. I cook now at home mucho. I pray
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Journal
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Hugbook
Flower
Hi trio of love! :) awww! :) Jennay, thank you so very much, for the wonderfully heart touching treasure, that you sent me! :) The beautiful letter, and card! :) Buzz and Mrs. Buzz! :) awww! :) Thank you so very much! :) i opened the envelope while outside, near our gardening areas. :) i'm smiling, and i can't stop smiling!!! :) We're so very happy, that you all are doing well. :) i'm so very proud of you Jennay, and always will be! :) keeping hope and faith alive! :) That's nice, that you and Tom got a new hobby! :) wow! :) it was such a pleasant surprise, recieving mail! :) it's always so very exciting!!! :) Thank you so very much!!! :) The casserole sounds delicious! :) We all are well. :) i gonna be writing to you all, very soon. :) Bailey and Tucker say hi to Clarke! :) ruff ruff! :) high paws! :) Jennay, you're an inspiration to me! :) You give me strength, and hope, and keep me in good spirits. :) Are you all getting excited about the fall season? :) We are gonna pick apples tomorrow. :) It's going to be so much fun!!! :) my family and i, send our love, warm friendship wishes, caring thoughts, and lots of super big happy sunny sunflower hugs, from CT! :) We love the trio of love, very much, and we think of you all, every day. :) god bless the trio of love, always and forever. :) take very good care, keep in touch! :) i'll talk to you soon! :) sunflower hope and unfailing faith! :) i'm so very happy, that work is going well. :) i'll talk to you soon! :)
Hug
Am so happy to hear from you.. I am well , have had a busy weekend with friends...thats to bad sunflower life was cut short by winds, but I hear ya about the fall like weather already..I have been putting on sweatpants at night...I stay in by shorts, tanks, capris & flip flops til the very end of warm weather, but by Sept here; it chilly at nights...Happy to hear job is still good.Love & Miss you...xxx:)
Prayer
Father in heaven, thank You for Your love and faithfulness. Thank You for Your promise to cleanse and purify me. I surrender every area of my life to You today and invite You to have Your way in me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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Hug
Thinking of you & hoping all is well..Hope the job is going good...Miss you...hope to hear from you soon...Much Love,Deb...XXX :)
Hug
A friend is someone you hold dear: Someone who is always there, through thick and thin; Someone who is only a phone call away. A friend is someone you can always rely on: Someone who is there to share your thoughts with; Someone to listen, no matter the subject. A friend is someone you can feel comfortable with: Someone you can sit silently beside, without conversation; Someone you do not need to fill the quiet moments with. A friend is someone you can trust: Someone who will guard your deepest secrets; Someone who will never let you down. A friend is someone who is not judgmental: Someone who will gently offer advice and opinions, Yet, someone who is not overbearing or critical. A friend is someone who can keep you grounded: Someone who can help you see through your obstacles; Someone to shoulder you through life's trials. A friend is someone who shares unconditionally: Someone to laugh and to cry with; Someone to lean on, through both the good and the bad. A friend is someone you choose wisely, For a friend is your own mirrored image: Someone to compliment your own self; Someone who indicates who you are as a person. A friend.... is what you are to me. I love you. Teresa
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Anger Management
Bad times growing up, during the 20's had mucho bad luck and made some bad choices. I have no regrets because everything I do has been to survive independently. I became chronically ill a few years ago. Things suddenly are improving this year. I am trying to reconnect with my real dad and mother. Most of my grandparents and great-grands raised me and have moved on. I am calmness in progress. My anger makes me sad. I've been mostly isolated past 4yr
Treatments
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- Now I sleep. It doesn't help my depression but it helps my shaking/jerking. Lexapro helped with depression but didn't like side effects. Tried a few neurological fancies
Close Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis
explosive ... get it? I have good years and then get an attack usually lasts a few weeks. Since childhood but not treated until a few years back after colonoscopy.
Open Shingles
Began thanks to my ex-husband I believe around age 19 on leg. Nerves are dead there now. Outbreaks about once a month. Now it has moved higher up. This is fresh meat so it is awful painful.
Treatments
Open GERD & Heartburn
trouble eating my whole life. I get like a suction hick-up loud and painful. GERD and at times trouble swallowing. I have a hiatal hernia.
Treatments
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- discovered I have food allergies. So that has really helped
- Prilosec Somewhat Helpful
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
Angry, mean step-fathers. #1 was I can't talk about. #2 was mental (telling me I'm stupid trying to scare me etc). Eventually he tried to shoot me in the head but missed I ran. As an adult some men have tried but realized my rage was bigger than theirs and I would could snap'em like a twig or crush their scull. Anger makes you quite strong. Tired of the bulling.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- works
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Violence and anger all around growing up. Moved from house to house in childhood. In 20's lived around a lot of gang activity, gun-fire, harrassment etc. Step-father tried to kill me, so fear of throat being slit, shot, or drowning
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- I put it on canvas and then throw it away. I guess I'm trying to throw away my past.
- EMDR Not Working
- made nightmares worse
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- Helps sleep and neurological issues
- Crying Working / Worked
- works
Open Panic Attacks
Reaction to growing up and contant bad experiences through out. Fire, divorce, abuse, betrayal, rape, fear PTSD
Treatments
- EMDR Not Working
- made worse
- Getting Angry Working / Worked
- calming distracting, however, with my clonazepam and hydrocodone I haven't needed to.
Open Insomnia
I have had sleep difficulties since childhood. Most recently the worst in the past few months. It is beganing to effect my whole life. Trying to figure how to manage. I've tried many things. This most recently sparked after a hospital flyby.
Treatments
- Clonazepam Somewhat Helpful
- Risperdal Working / Worked
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 2 hugs given
- 4 hugs received
