Feeling normal is relative. What is normal to me well? Seeing my friend having a normal life, plenty of actives to keep her busy. I used to visit just watching her do daily things around the house and wonder why can’t I be like that. Her house looks nice lived in I can see her personality all around. I once slept in the back room, was such a nice feeling of laying down stretching out to sleep normally. And then I go back to the apt, sleep on the couch not normal in my eyes. Place looks be occupied but not a home or a place to relax in. After visiting her place I dreaded going back to mine. I want the life she has a normal one. That just set my depression on a different level see how I live. It’s the little things that I’m sure she wasn’t aware of doing she just did it. And that’s what I miss leading a normal life and she allowed me into her life to see what life could be for me and I want that normal life so badly. I know seeing a glimpse into her life I realized I’m not living a normal life and deepened my depression