I'm feeling better... BUT....
July 5, 2008 8:59pm
I have had time to myself to do a lot of thinking, and basically came to this conclusion. I just have to learn to follow my heart. Learning to do …
Progress
30 %
MistressDrummer’s Profile
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MistressDrummer
is feeling Good
About Me
I'm bi polar, bi sexual, and I have always had family issues for 6 years and possibly continuing with my mom and dad since they were divorced. I suffered from child abuse. I have always became depressed due to blaming situations I'm in on me, thinking everything is my fault or there are things about me that aren't right. I try to not think that, but it's been like a hard habit to break since I was a little girl.
Interests
I am a drummer. I love music and I never go a day without it. I like to write a lot of songs and mostly poetry. I love make up. I am a friendly person and try to get along with almost anyone. I also like to help people and be of help to people. My other passions include crafts and cooking.
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Recent Activity
Monday
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MistressDrummer and hothead are now friends 7:28pm
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MistressDrummer gave CloudStrife a Hug 6:56pm
Things are pretty good.…
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MistressDrummer replied to Lynngie’s discussion post Webcam Nudity in the Teen Sexuality support group 6:55pm
it's illegal if your under 18 but you have to be on specific sites that allow you to expose yourself…
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MistressDrummer gave CloudStrife a Hug 6:54pm
I'm very happy for you.…
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MistressDrummer gave CloudStrife a Hug 6:51pm
me too! hahaha XD…
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MistressDrummer gave CloudStrife a High Five 6:48pm
I told you! CONGRATS! ^o^…
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MistressDrummer gave CloudStrife a Hug 6:48pm
hey, I am actually thank you for asking…
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MistressDrummer commented on XxSkepticalxX’s journal entry Falling? 6:46pm
Just remember, your not the only one out there battling with weight problems. I used to be fit as a child,…
Sunday
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MistressDrummer replied to sissygirl69’s discussion post My best friend thinks she bi... in the Bisexuality support group 10:31am
Just explain to her that it's not because shes overweight or anything like that, and nothing has changed,…
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MistressDrummer changed their mood to Good 10:27am
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Journal
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I question myself...
July 4, 2008 8:29pm
what am I doing? I don't get where I'm going and I'm questioning right now if I what I have in my life is truly worth it anymore, cause I …
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bisexuality
I'm bisexual, and I just came out to everyone else... except my mom. I'm afraid to come out to her. Everyday I feel more at risk of being in trouble with her or her not looking at me the same ever again.
Close Depression - Teen
I have depression from not being happy with my self image, and how I relate to other people.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- helps me meditate and put myself in a different universe to be away from everything that hurts me.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- difficult in the begining, but progressed over time.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Always helped to talk to someone that I really trusted.
- Writing Working / Worked
- It makes my head clear, like I can freely unload what I feel without restraints.
Open High School Stress
Highschool for me hasn't been easy cause I moved in the middle of the year last year, and have had difficulty adjusting to my new school this year because of painful events that happened to me.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- It has helped me tremendously.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- They are truly my back bone. But I do have trust issues with certain people that are there for me.
Open Breakups & Divorce
my parents have been divorced for 6 years. Ever since they got divorced my dad has been just as bad out of the marriage than he was in the marriage. He doesn't support us like he should and still corrupts what should be at peace years ago. I also have had past issues and some current issues of people that I see or have seen in my dating life thus far.
Open Family Issues
My Dad abused me when I was little and he still scars me for life till this day. I have issues with my 3rd younger sister Amber, I have difficulty on occasion trying to get along with a smart mouth step dad, and there are things of my childhood past that still haunt over whats going on in my life today.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I suffered from physical abuse from my dad when I was little. I also suffer from emotional abuse from family and certain events that have taken place in my daily life.
Open Coming Out
I have yet to come out to my mom and the day I do is a very unpredictable and challenging event that will take place and it gets almost all the more challenging waiting for that moment everyday.
Open Alcoholism
I use alcohol to get rid of paiin or dealing with any reality of things that I can't handle. I use it to push my feelings aside and try to be something else.
Open Self-Injury
I cut once in awhile, depending on the severity of the situation that I am in. I can be suicidal and have suicidal way of thinking and it does affect me a lot. I try to keep my chin up, but I can only stay sane for so long.
Open Teen Sexuality
I am a virgin, and proud of it. But I have sexual complications with myself.
Open ADHD / ADD
I have add. Focus is really my most difficult challenge. It's improved over time, but combined with it I have had ocd with add, and it wasn't really the greatest combination.
Treatments
- Adderall Working / Worked
- Concerta Working / Worked
- Music Therapy Working / Worked
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have always been highstrung or felt like I was going to break.
Treatments
Open Anger Management
I can be a lover, and then it's another story...
Open Teen Anxiety
I have the typical self anxiety. I always try to make things in my life orderly and all that, and of course, it doesn't turn out like I like them to.
Open Separation Anxiety
I suffer from loss of things that are close to me in my life, part of that contributing to moving around a lot since my parents got divorced. Trying to let things go is not the easiest thing for me to have to endure.
Open Bereavement
sometimes I just go insane from all the above affecting me.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- Getting Angry Working / Worked
- Music Working / Worked
- Poetry Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Reading Working / Worked
- Remembering Working / Worked
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Talking Working / Worked
Open Bipolar Disorder
I am bi polar. I can be a friend, and I sure can be an enemy.
Open Lymphedema
I have lymphedema in my calves and my ankles have a crooked setting. It becomes difficult for me to walk or execercise and the pain gets excrusiating. The pain can also hit me in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and I have to stand up to elevate myself in hopes that the pain goes away. It hurts so much and it makes me feel like I go slower than normal. My body feels swollen and numb.I can sometimes feel like a big water balloon from the sensation of it all. It sucks.
