I was at Dennys with my family …
I was at Dennys with my family today and I got really sick and started to panic. My grandpa had to drive my car home …
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i am so childish. i am 56 and can do almost nothing for myself. it is embarresing and frustrating. i have never lived by myself, something i want so badly but am scared to death to do it.
i am currently living with my daughter and her husband and have been for about five years. i take care of my 10 mos old grandson whom i love dearly.
i have written a manuscript but am afraid either sucess or failure...either one scares me...
i have gad,it used to be so bad i was unable to get out of bed for several years. i CAN do alot now. go out, drive and the like,,but i absolutely hate myself since there are so many things i cant do. cleaning up my clothing for instance,,,,,,,such an easy thing....i should be able to do it. i am currently on disability for gad and depression also ADHD, and because of the fact that i am unable to work. just the word job gets my anxiety going.
my meds are valium, ritilin, paxil and seroquel for sleep.
lately i get the feeling my kids would like to be by themselves,but i take care of the baby,,and i know they cant afford day care.....i feel so useless, a burden on those i love, and on society because i get my "crazy' check from the gov.... are my feelings real or are they my perception, which seem to be off most of the time. (big surprise) money flies from my hands. by the first week, my entire check is gone. i dont spend only on myself, but i am over generous with others...which is so stupid,,,i cant afford it......now i ask the question..WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!
striklyfear
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I was like you. I lived with my mom until I was in my late 30's because I HATE being alone. But once I got out on my own and found things to do and people to do them with it wasn't so bad.
Saffrondarling
oops typo I'm only 36 now so it would be my late 20's need a nap now lol.
Saffrondarling
Bipolar people spend money needlessly (I am bipolar 2 with GAD and only found this out LAST year)! Meds have helped, esp. mood stabilizer Trileptal, but I am still learning about budgeting FINALLY. And, like Saffrondarling says, once you do get out on your own, you find it is not so bad after all. You need a pet, perhaps a cat, not requiring walking but the purring and company is wonderful for stress or at least for me! I use a kiln dried pine for cat litter and there is no cat urine smell as the pine dissolves into sawdust when the cat's urine hits it! You can flush the poop down the toilet as it does not stick to the pine! I've always been a cat lover but this is the first time I've tried the dried kiln pine stable bedding and it is wonderful! It's a shame we are not living closer together (we could probably spend some BIG money together so God must be looking out for us) (to put a smile on your face here). We are so much alike, you and I! GOD BLESS. Frances
sistergal2