I was browsing, looking for some …
I was browsing, looking for some form of help to motivate and inspire me and I came across this support group website. …
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Every night I say to myself that tomorrow will be different, it will be more positive, I will take positive steps. However, every 'tomorrow' comes and I wake up scared, alone, lost, helpless and jobless. The one thing I need to do is get myself a job. I know that this will help me. However, when I wake up in tears with such fear all I want to do is hide away. I don't want to face the rest of the world. I don't want to pick up the phone and explain why I haven't been working for the past 6 months. Recruiters are not interested in gaps. To them you just look lazy an uncapable. I can't face people interviewing me right now so if I can't do that then how the hell am I supposed to move on with my life? I don't know what to do. I am stuck. Why can't I just take that first step? This is what I ask myself every single morning and promise myself every single night that it will be different. But it's not. It's the same shit but just a different day. Another day to deal with the pain. Another day that he does not care. Another day of my life disappears. What's the point? If anyone knows then please tell me as I don't see one right now!
I am trying to stay positive but all I want to do is cry cry and then cry some more. It's pathetic but I just can't snap out of it. Sometimes I feel it's coming to an end, that I have turned a corner and that I am over the worst of it ... and then BAM ... the tears come flooding back with the same bad memories. The fear just gets worse and worse and the knots get tighter in my stomach. Sometimes it's hard to just breathe!
I so want to move on but when I can't focus on even making a cup of tea how on earth am I supposed to focus on making a life for myself?
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SO SORRY TO READ YOUR SPIRITS ARE DOWN. I KNOW ITS HARD , YOU DONT KNOW WHICH WAY TO TURN. DONT TRY TO BE POSITIVE ALL THE TIME , TAKE THINGS AS THEY COME AND DONT EXPECT TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF. YOUVE PROBABLEY BEEN SUFFERING ALOT LONGER THAN YOU REALISE AND ITS PROBABLEY GOING TO TAKE A LOT LOT LONGER TO FEEL JUST OK AGAIN.
IM THE SAME , I CAN WAKE UP FEELING OK , THEN A FEW HOURS DOWN THE LINE I FEEL SHITE AND ALL I DO IS SLEEP , THEN IM UP ALNIGHT. ITS A MAD CYCLE OF UPS AND DOWNS .
IM JUST TRYING TO BE OK FOR A WEEK , MANAGED A FEW DAYS THE OTHER WEEK , BUT I REALISED IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE ID HAD SOME LAGER (8 CANS).
I HAVNT HAD A DRINK SINCE MY LAST HAPPY SPELL AND IM BACK DOWN AGAIN .
ANYWAY KEEP YOUR CHIN UP AND REMEMBER YOU DO DESERVE TO BE HAPPY XX
jumpy1
Hi jumpy1. Your comments really do help me. I know it will take time and that really upsets me. It upsets me that I will wake up one day an old woman who just didn't quite manage to get over it all :-(. This is not a life is it? This is not living. Sorry to sound so negative. I think I am on a low this morning. Thanks again for your support x
LonelyHeart111
things will get better 4 you.the way 4wards is to stay focused.your not a victim.your a survivor.you can do it hun.do it for you.you deserve it.
Dbbiepeggy