shazzamy's Journal

Okay, so we had another practice today, and the people that intimidated me the most were not there. I could show how much i really deserved to be there. Now, there is a new problem though. I kind of have this crush on one of the guys on my team. His name is sean, and he is really sweet, and it's fun to play with him (basketball). haha. Well, yeah, every time that he catches me staring at him, i turn my face, and lok away. I feel like kind of a loaner with the people there, but it is starting to get better. I feel like they already know that i am bi, and that's why i am left out of some things. Like after the next practice, they are trying to get together and go to the movies, and they were walking around, and whispering to one another, because they thought that i couldn't hear. It made me feel horrible, but maybe that was why i had felt obligated to do so well at todays practice. Oh, but yeah about the earlier comment, about them knowing that i was bi. I feel like the way i act, gives like a vibe, or something that shows people that i am bi, or gay. Is it my personaity maybe, or my body language?