kittensmitten's Journal

Hey every one I am back from my Surg. that I had on Friday, it went well but come to find out I need to have another one!!! Anyway the good news is I am getting my Motorcycle Lisencse August and I am finally getting my bike.  Crotch Rocket.  maybe a CBR650 to start with.  This will help me and get me out of the house.  So freaken happy!!!

You can find me on myspace!!!!!

Feeling sick to my stomache because of my anxiety and bipolar.  I try so hard to get rid of it on my own without having to go to the ER that thinks that I am there just for drugs.  Valium is what they give me but with all the visits the nursres are yucky towards me.  So I go through kinda like a miny manic episode, I have such bad chest pain that I have to live with everyday like a papercut on my skin everyday.  I feel this weird nerve pain all over my body, that makes me feel like I am not suposed to be in this body or I was suposed to die already but I missed it.  It is hard to explain the amount of pain and feelings of not being in my body to tell someone that is just scary and yet not beleivable, so I keep it a secret.  Just cant seem to get through this it is an everyday thing and I look at my hands or my arms and I feel freaked out to be in this body.  I take Lyrica and that seem to help for a few hours then I am right back feeling this way again.  Everyday and night its this way feeling sick and out of my skin.