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Pretty lazy Sunday today... I noticed many friends I love and respect so much having a really difficult time this weekend. Talked w/ many of them last night & today...I hurt for them but feel strong for them. I observed a full moon this weekend and couldn't help but notice so many on the board feeling stressed out as well. Not just bp board but other boards too. Who knows if the myth about the full moon causing things to go off kilter is true but I believe it. I have felt very good this weekend as my med change seems to be working so well it's actually starting to blow my mind! I'm so happy I'm improving! No I'm not quite there but I feel so much better. I sent an email to my Dad & step mom asking them to look at a link on bipolar. I had words with my step mother last week. I was feeling manic and irritable. I won't go into the detail of how that woman triggers me. She has done it since I was 10. She's always disliked me. Used to tell me I reminded her of my mother. (nice thing for her...) Whom she can't stand.. So last week my Dad calls me to chastize me like a child not even knowing (or caring) I was also going thru a med change and had gone to the hospital due to depression, cutting and suicidal thoughts. I tried to explain and he interrupted me and told me that bipolar was nothing but a 17yr olds emotions. That killed me. He also demanded I call my step mother to apologize. I did. For me, not him. Also for her bc a did feel sorry for some things I said. He also left a horrible message on my cell. Oh well, that's fucking life guess! I'm just gonna keep ridin' the wave!
All my friends, know I love & care for you so much...
Comments
Hey sweetie. Life can be a bitch. Really, it can. I admire your grace in these moments. I probably would have punched the bitch..hehe..I have major anger management issues though..anywaaaaaaaaaays..my mother is much like your father. She HAS mellowed over the years, but when I tried to commit suicide, she was ANGRY and EMBARRASSED rather than concerned. I harbor so much resentment to this day..eventually that stuff eats at you, though, and you must let it go. It seems your light years ahead of me. I'm glad the meds are doing what they are supposed to. You seem to be in a good place and thats all we can ask for. I'll be sure to keep on eye on you ;) xoxo. M.
NJgrl
following the ups and downs of BP. Not a chance for us I guess in the real world. My meds work better now that I am not drinking:) You are so right about that full moon!!!!
JoeTex