Cinomin's Journal

How odd.. I'm sitting here realizing that I'm less willing and wanting to tweeze late at night (unless I'm in the bathroom).  In the morning and afternoon all I want to do is get the small annoying hairs.. yet at night not so much.  It's 11:30 here in California and I'm watching tv with little stress or worry. I'm not super happy emotionally, but I don't feel the urge to pick right now.  It seems that when I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed, I get the tweezers out and spend some time pulling hairs from my armpits and/or bikini area.  When I was younger at the beginning of my tweezing years, I would pick from my scalp, then moved onto scalp and legs.  I realized it was horrible to do and stopped with the scalp, which was hard.  I had pressure to from my mom though.  Then I started to like wearing shorts and cute skirts.. in other words: show my legs.  Well I realized also that I'd have to stop tweezing my legs so they would look okay at school.  As of today, I do have some scars on my legs, but once they get a bit of tanning on them it's harder to notice.  That's when I moved onto my armpits.  I had totally stopped taking hairs out of my scalp and rarely tweezed at my legs.  The armpits were torn up though.  I would pick until bleeding occurred and then make sure I'd get the hair out... even if the area started to ache... I still do it.  I tried to stop, but it wasn't easy.  I'd stress out or get anxious and start tweezing like crazy.. I even got to the point of taking tweezers to high school.  Well I had gotten over the hair on the scalp and legs, so I moved onto focusing on my other hairs.  I noticed that after shaving around the bikini area ;) I would get ingrown hairs.  These hairs would drive me crazy so I'd shave very often (in the shower/bath).  Then it came to me that I could tweeze!  How horrible of an idea, I know. But I loved it.  Now I'm suffering from tweezing my stupid armpits and pubic area... it's so annoying, painful, and humiliating.

I hope this website and everyone on here can help me stop.  I've been able to stop in the past, but I've been doing it for years now and find it much harder than when I was younger.  Now I can't imagine going days without tweezing.  Earlier this week I went from Sunday afternoon to Wednesday morning without it.  That's when I realized I could do it, but I don't think I can do it alone.  I came on here and found help by reading other peoples comments and journals and such.  Today is day 1 of my new goal and I've made it through the whole day without picking up the tweezers.  As of right now, I do not want to touch the tweezers unless I get a splinter and someone has to take it out.  I can't handle the idea of even grooming my eyebrows because I know I'd let the tweezers travel south and start picking more areas.

Ugh.