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I just wanted to let all of my friends know that i am doing very well. Ever since i have joined DS I have been healing and letting things go much better. I feel as though i am starthing a new chapter in my life. I am getting claser to my goal and it all is a big thanks to all of you who have been so supportive and available for me. I have started a new job that i love and my relationship with my b/f has never been better. He told me last night that i was back to the woman he fell in love with and that meant so much to me be as he was suffering a great deal with all of the pain i was going through. I owe it all to all of you that have been there for me and giving me advice on how to start greiving. Thank you all so much!!!!!
UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 0
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Yeasterday was very hard for me. I tried to take my mind off my pain and apend time with my parents and b/f. At frist it was going ok. we were all having a good time and then my fater said something to me that made me really upset. I am not sure how it came up but I said something alog the line of being a mother too and he replied "yes, your were one, but not any more." we both went silent. I think he knew he hurt me but for the rest of the day i was wondering if that was how everyone felt about me. I know he didn't mean to be hurtful. It was one of those think before you speak moments but it still hurt likee hell. I just want people to treat me like i feel i am. A Mother! I loved mason more than anyone in my life could imagine. I carried my baby for 4 months. I look at my sister who has been blessed with 3 amazing children and she takes them for granted so much. I think sometimes that my experience was to happen to show me how not to be with my future children. that is the only good that i can say has come out of all of my pain.
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Today has been hard for me. Tomorrow is Mother's day=( I just want it to be over. I just got over the one year annaversary and now i have to deal with being babyless on Mother's day. I think i am the only one who understands how hard this is for me. My family expect me to be happy and chipper but with my depression getting worse daily, i can't do it. All i want to do is spend the day alone and reflect on my baby who is in heaven. I have gotten a lot of great advise and i have started to think of finally naming the baby. Hopefully this will be the start of my greiving process.
UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 10%
Encouragements: 0
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| May 2008 |
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I am glad you are feeling better and are finding the joy in your life. It is a tough road but I think we will definitely make it. Hugs to you.
lvnikita