tonight is my birthday dinner with my family. its supposed to be fun and all for me but if it was up to me i'd be in bed. now i have to put on a happy face everyone can see straight through and go pretend to be real excited that is my birthday. i'll probably hurt someone's feelings or run out in uncontrollable sobbing. but they have to love me anyways because they're family. thank god for family. thank god for the fact that they'll still love me and want me around even though sometimes i'm apeshit nutso. maybe i'll get some good presents and eat some good food and some more good food and some more good food. this might be a fun idea after all.