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The abilfy threw me into a manic phase where I bought a new car, a $140 easel, and all kinds of other shit. I'm now on Geodon and Depakote, and I'm really hoping I don't lose any hair or gain any weight. I had my daughter in February and I've already lost all of the fifty pounds I gained plus some.
So I'm now feeling great about the fact that I'm getting a divorce. I found an apartment and I'm moving on the 19th. New life! A fresh start where I get to figure out who I am. Only problem is I've been very manic and shopping like crazy, but my pdoc upped the dosage on my Abilify so maybe that will help.
The way my mind works now is so completely different than the way it used to...I almost feel "normal". So much less anxiety, less obsessive thoughts, much less crying and fits. Also, I have a whole new outlook on recreational drug and alcohol use for some reason. I used to think there was no problem with weekend drinking and occasional drug use. There is! I can't believe I lived my life like that for so many years. I don't even like the thought of having a drink before dinner now. Extreme maybe, but healthy...yes.
My husband wants a divorce. Great timing. I am going to lose it.
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Past Entries
| May 2008 |
Saturday, 5/24
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Sunday, 5/11
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Might be a blessing in disguise. I've always been happier not married. Men are large children, usually self-centered, not willing or able to be there for us. Obviously, I don't have a high opinion of men in general; I think "good man" is an oxymoron. Divorce can be an improvement.
yesgirl