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Looking for some hope as I sit here in the darkness of my heart
I have made a mess of my life and I am not sure that I can re-start
A life of full of uncertainty, a life full of despair
Sometimes it feels as if I am the only one who cares
I know that I am not the only soul whose soul, aches in pain
Yet I feel that the love I have shared has all been in vain
Love is not supposed to hurt to the point of wishing death
I guess it wasn’t really love at all, that is what I suspect
I am not ready to move on, to another journey with anyone
The only place it seems I belong, is with myself and that’s begun
I first must accept the fact that I have somehow, hurt myself
In allowing anyone to hurt me the way they have, knowing I will just melt
The pain of it all, the loneliness, the never knowing what will be
I guess I can withstand it all until the day I am set free
Free to be and love, with all I have. Not worrying what is next?
No fear of pain or shame or hurt, just knowing I have what’s best
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The reality of my own situation is
I am letting a bad situation
Take the better of me
Trying to make me feel better, about me
It is very difficult for me to achieve
Whatever it is, this personal goal of mine
Sidetracked with guilt gets back in my mind
Trying real hard, it is hard to see it, but I really am
Daydreamer girl, alone here she stands
Could go either way, reality, or some other place in her head
It is only 8:45 am and I already think, I should go back to bed
Swaying on reality’s it is just the way that I am
Cuz I would rather be happy somewhere in the sand
Oh, I sigh to myself as I look to the mess I just made
I think my life is all made up and I will be the cause of all destruction
Is it all a fiscade?
A fiscade of delusion, a fiscade of delight
A delight so disa~delusioned I am fighting for life
I hang my head here as I choke back yet another set of tears
Growing within me, kept them locked inside years
There’s more to this thought but I don’t want to share yet I am not ready to share and maybe I never will but we will see. Day to day I can understand but this level of dread is heavy to hold.
The reality of my own situation isI am letting a bad situationTake the better of me Trying to make me feel better, about meIt is very difficult for me to achieveWhatever it is, this personal goal of mineSidetracked with guilt gets back in my mind Trying real hard, it is hard to see it, but I really amDaydreamer girl, alone here she standsCould go either way, reality, or some other place in her headIt is only 8:45 am and I already think, I should go back to bed Swaying on reality’s it is just the way that I amCuz I would rather be happy somewhere in the sandOh, I sigh to myself as I look to the mess I just madeI think my life is all made up and I will be the cause of all destruction Is it all a fiscade? A fiscade of delusion, a fiscade of delightA delight so disa~delusioned I am fighting for lifeI hang my head here as I choke back yet another set of tearsGrowing within me, kept them locked inside years There’s more to this thought but I don’t want to share yet I am not ready to share and maybe I never will but we will see. Day to day I can understand but this level of dread is heavy to hold.
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Very nice, did you write this?
Rifleman420