Journal Entry for January 11, 2008
January 11, 2008 10:30am
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Soulmate...
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Today is one week from the time my life went crashing down.Dan(husband) kisses me goodbye before he left for work,by after work he pops my World by telling me he doesn't want to be married!! Ten flippin years all for nothing so much for my soul-mate ..My oldest two sons left college to help me how sad,my 14 yr old son cries and bege him to please not leave us.I went to the head Dr.today and received new meds to help me get thru...All I want to do he crawl up and die,but I have to try to be "strong" and I just can't...I am sick of crying!!!
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Journal Entry for September 14, 2007
September 14, 2007 8:44pm
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All my life I've always wondered what was wrong with me Nothing I do ever seems to be right anymore I don't know what's wrong What is there left that I have not broken?I'm even breaking myself littly by little...Everyday another ...
Journal Entry for October 22, 2007
October 22, 2007 2:39pm
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Just a little back tracking to Wednesday, Oct 17th when I went through a very rough pain filled day, but as I said before if not for God and the prayers of my husband I know in my flesh that I would not have gotten through it.Anyway I came home ...
Let me know if you figure out how to be strong. I'm all about finding a way. As much as I love our son (we only have 1 child) and would do anything for him, I just can't get motivated to be the mom he needs right now because all I want to do is cry. If I'm doing something with my son, I cry because I'm feeling like my husband should be a part of it. Ok, I know that my husband is not going to be everywhere we are, but still... I decided to water the lawn this morning because hubby isn't around to do it like he has always done every year for the past 9 years we have lived here. Oh God! did I not ever tell him I appreciated the fact he watered and mowed our lawn. Did I nag him about not doing more for the lawn? Why couldn't I see I was pushing him away? Ok, this is about you and your journal entry, sorry! My son (he's 9) said this morning, "It is what it is!" I'm raising a duplicate of my husband. He's already learned to play word/mind games. What's that supposed to mean? I hope your 14yr old can talk some sense into your husband. I keep thinking mine will come home to be with our son and try to make things better for him. I cry every day now ALOT. The crying validates my feelings. I don't know how to stop. I hope that you will find something to do with your time to focus on YOU and give you time to not think about this. Try exercise.
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