Journal Entry for July 20, 2008
July 20, 2008 11:37pm
On my Own seems like a good auditioning song
I'm constantly exhausted
I feel miserably sad
summer reading is truly …
Goal Completed on Jun 23, 08
portosicuro’s Profile
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About Me
My names are: Mary, Maria, Mia and I write poems: http://portosicuro.weebly.com/ ...Ask me about myself and I'll answer it.
Interests
Music: The Dresden Dolls, Regina Spektor, Beatles, P!ATD, Broadway soudtracks, Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears, Songs from the 40's -------------Movies: Donnie Darko, Fried Green Tomateos, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Girl, Interrupted, The Notebook, Love Actually, Spirited Away----------- All Others: astrology(obsessed) writing (my life) ...and.... supernatural, the random, words, colors, music, auras, cultures, art, drama, real estate, fire, movies, travel, dance, self-improvement, self discovery, weird laws, secrets, laughter, things that are unexplained, unsolved mysteries, the minds of children, society, a society different then our own ...When you're as impatient as me, everything is interesting for a wh-
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for July 8, 2008
July 8, 2008 6:43pm
I can't stop crying. I don't understand why people say that crying makes them feel better. I have horrible pain and anger when I cry. Lately, …
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Journal Entry for July 6, 2008
July 6, 2008 7:33pm
I've been crying lately. I usually don't cry, but I feel vulnerable.
My latest fear is being alone. It really scares me. I can't be …
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Journal Entry for June 30, 2008
June 30, 2008 6:14pm
I haven't been manic in a while. I'm almost always depressed. My mom is thrilled that the medicine makes me look like …
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Love and lonliness
June 27, 2008 2:20am
Have you everHave you everMissed someone So deeplyThat it exhausted youThat you couldn’t eatThat all you did Was cry?Have you ever Cried so …
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Hugbook
I’m With You
For a good time, mouse-click on the green letters here: http://dailystrength.org/groups/la...
Hug
Thanks for the hug...and here's one for you. Hope you are feeling better today. I have not logged on in a while, I hope to come back more often.
Hug
thanks for responding to my post. I started at this site on the general bipolar group, but thought id pop over to the teen one. I think I need the perspective of other teens. So, thought Id drop by and say thanks and hi.
Hug
Hug!
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Hug
Hey Mia! I miss you! Hope you're having an awesome time in Mexico!!! Lots of love!
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder - Teen
I always perceived that I was different. Very different. I could see things. Eerie things, interesting things, thing I couldn't explain. I was hearing voices. Angry voices. I felt uncomfortable in my skin. I wanted to cry. But never did. It feels mind-boggling that people all over the world have been feeling, seeing and hearing things with me. I salute all of them. Because I understand.
Treatments
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I love music, but I don't know if it mentally helps me.
- Pets Not Working
- I have my dog. His bark is obnoxious, his odor is unbearable, and he was never fond of me to begin with.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I enjoy it. I'm not judged for anything I say or do, it just "Helps me pick a medication perfect for you" Says my therapist.
- Talking Considering
- I'm scared to talk about it too much. I don't want to be bothersome or depressing and talk about it too much. I want to talk on and on about it, but I don't know who will listen.
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- I love to write. But it's not really a treatment. More of something to do when words pop into my head in a poetic way. I dream to publish my work.
- Abilify Not Working
- just didn't work.
- Celexa Somewhat Helpful
- It makes me less manic, but more depressed.
- Poetry Working / Worked
- an extreme help
Close Eating Disorders
Type: BulimiaI just...I don't know. I think it's stupid and immature, but I'm so addicted. I hate myself for it.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I lied and said I wasn't...not so helpful.
Open Codependency
I came to the conclusion of killing myself. I had a ton of options and was ready.The day I planned on killing myself I had rehearsal. I was talking with a girl from my dance class that I barely knew. She introduced me to her friend and went back to practice. He was the first person to make me laugh in months. I decided not to commit suicide after all. After he left, I searched for someone like him...I've been codependent even since
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Considering
- i don't know how it will help...but ok.
Open Panic Attacks
I get panic attacks once a week maybe less. When they happen, I fail to remember all of it. I just wake up and see all the destruction I've caused. It's very fearsome and I hope I can continue to have a normal life despite them.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- it's just medication after medication
- Seroquel Not Working
- Too sleepy
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I used to get badly beaten up at school, because I was weak and people in the halls cussed at me and shoved me around. I, to this day, have no idea why.
Treatments
Open Depression - Teen
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. The only times when I am happy is when I am codependent with a guy or manic. Many things have happened to increase my depression, but I mostly blame being bipolar.
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- Didn't work
- Meditation Not Working
- I disdain all things religious.
- Music Working / Worked
- Pets Not Working
- I loathe my dog.
- Prozac Not Working
- It didn't help
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- My friends are wonderful
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I think it helps a lot, but I feel I'm bringing down the people I'm talking to.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I love poetry and blogging
- Zoloft Not Working
- It didn't work
Open Anger Management
Treatments
- Laughter Working / Worked
- when I laugh, I stop being angry. I think of Demetri Martin and old friends.
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Snapshot
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