TellMeWhy's Journal

Wow!  It seems like a life time ago since I've written an entry on this site.  Life is truly a challenge, but I'm making it.  I've been places (emotionally & mentally) that I never expected to go, but the bottom line is ~ I'm still here.  Though my struggles are far from over, I am much better now (in every way) than I was several months ago.  I'm living in a period of separation and taking things one day at a time.  I've come to the conclusion that I can't change my husband to be the man that "I" want him to be; nor, can he live up to the expectations that I have for him.  I've also concluded that I must trust God and pray that God restore him to be the man that he is destined to be.  Without that restoration and change in his heart, there is no "us."  Several days and nights are extremely lonely as we've been apart since the first Sunday in July.  We spend time together (a few days/nights each week) and are trying to work things out.  Some days are easier than others, but I just try to sustain an optimistic outlook believing that God is in full control.  Knowing that God knows what's best for me helps me to rest while trusting Him to work things out for my good.  Sometimes up...  Sometimes down... -- but NEVER defeated!  The challenge in making it through tough situations is to simply GO THROUGH.  We can't get to the other side with out taking the required steps.  I'm trusting God to give me double for my trouble and I'm growing/learning a lot about my self in the process.

My final thoughts for my life at this current time are that (1) I'm stronger, (2) I'm better, (3) I'm wiser, and (4) determined!

Until next time may He keep us in perfect peace, restore our joy, and be what we need Him to be in our lives.