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my son who is 7 is really getting on my nerves. And i just don't know what to do he keeps getting into trouble and always whining about every little thing. the other day he got into trouble for standing on the seats on the bus then lied to me and said he didn't do it. I talked to bus driver she told me he did so the bus driver had him write 20 times i will not stand on the seats and i made him write 20 times i will not lie. He was not happy about of course and i had to hear the whining so i told him if he did not quit he would write i will not whine 20 times well he quit. And so far has not been acting up so maybe this punishment will work. But before i told him he would have to write i will not whine 20 times he kept saying he wanted to run away. What do you say to that? my first reaction was to say ok mikey stop writing your not punishied anymore but then what is he really learning? oh i can get away with anything if i tell mom i'm gonna run away. My feelings were really hurt that he said that but i made him finish his punishment then sat down and explained to him how much that hurt my feelings and that really its not so bad living with mom. I also told him what may happen if he were to run away and i just hope i got through to him. kid you gotta love them. Being a mom is so hard but i wouldn't change it for the world.
Well dad made it to cancer treatment center of america. so far so good. His cancer did not spread so thats good. they are gonna start keimo and put in a feeding tube so he can finally eat. Everyday i get more and more hope that he will make it through this. well truth be told us palmers were to stubborn to die. But what i find disturbing is all around me everyone is going into the hospital. my husbands grandma just got out for heart problems, my uncle is in for kidney failure, my cousin just went in for a heart attack. What is going on? i just don't understand. my husband has not really been here for me the way i need him to be. I am to the point i'm gonna leave but i'm just so afraid to do so.
well got some good news that makes me more hopeful. Dad has decided to go to cancer treatment center of america. He may only be there for five days depends on how they want to do treatment. I'm gonna go see him before he leaves and i'm bringing my son. I hope that won't be to hard on my dad or him. I was not sure if i was gonna tell my son. How do you explain to a 7yr old his grandpa has stomach cancer? everyone was telling me to tell him but my mind got made up when he came home from school and seen me crying. that was the day i found out dad had cancer. well mikey seen me crying so he wanted to know what was going on. it was bad he started crying and said if he dies no one will stop me from going to funeral. all i could do was hold him and cry to. My husband god he has been a jerk through this. He yelled at my son for wanting to know whats going on. When i do try to talk to him about this he is to busy getting ready for bed or has his nose in his game so i don't have his full attention and when i try to tell him thats what i need i'm a witch for saying so. I thought maybe this was to hard on him to he lost his mom to cancer so i asked him that but he says no thats not it and he is listening to me. basically he can listen to me and do other things but funny how i have to repeat myself a couple of times before he responds. We have been having problems ever since we got married and i am just to the point i'm gonna walk out just don't know if i have the courage to do so. sad thing is we have not even been married for a year yet. Also i have a sister who is being a witch and trying to take control of all of this and saying things i don't need to hear. but i should of known that she has always been a witch. the other thing that sucks is where my dad has to go is chicago its kind of far away. I won't always be able to make it there. but if they decide to keep him and do surgery then i most definetly will be there. I'm upset he will be there far away but this place is really good so that makes me happy. Plus i just feel guilty writing about how i feel when my dad is going through so much more but if i don't get my feelings out some how then i'll snap.
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| May 2008 |
Monday, 5/05
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