James74115's Journal

 I really screwed up, I talked to my ex last night and we had a talk on yahoo chat. She loves me as much as I do her. What happend was problems and stress from work got to me to the point wher ex said it turned my heart dark. OH MY GOD !!! I didn't even mean for this to happen ! All I was trying to do was keep in a job and make a living for us both. She said I let the job change me and I'm not the same person I was. We argued 4-5 times in 5 1/2 years and we really loved each other. She said my soul turned dark and she didn't know who I was anymore. She still thinks I'm her best friend but I still pushed her away. she dosent love me any more. I really screwed up !!! I didn't relize I was doing this. I lost my best friend ! She told me this so I don't do it again with some one else. I really know her and I can hear it in her voice that the love really is gone, it really is over. She really put me in my place. This won't happen again. If we ever get back together again, I know it will be years to come. I know it depends if any of us are involved or not. but I doubt it. It hurts, I just need some time only 3 weeks gone. MAN I SCREWED UP !!!