A bit about Me
Well, I've focused on others, my daughter and GF/ExGF (depending on if ya understand her dissociated state or not), …
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Got an early appointment in a few days, hopefully last one for a while. Anyways, still nothing new. At this point I'm just waiting for my mate to do enough physical harm to herself to the point the she ends up in the ER and hopefully snaps out of it at that point. Not a fun time for any member of a couple to ever go thru.
Even though I did talk to her, she atm hates me. The cycle has a dissociated trigger, and right now she's reliving her past childhood trauma's which the center figure was her father. Since now in her life I'm the "man" of the house I've taken his position in her life (as far as the dissociation goes). So for now she's going to hate me, hate everything about me, and give up her entire life just to escape from me. She's already chopped off her hair, went and got a body piercing (non of which she ever wanted to do), smoking, drinking, etc. She's trying to cope with her escape and there's no good way for her to do so with the state she's in.
Yes, I've tried every avenue to get her help, but the state workers that have been assisting her for the past many years are limitted on what they can do for her. She's on her own and everyone's waiting for her to end up in the ER.
Anyways, my day's won't get any better. Because of the medication issue this could take days, weeks, even months and it might be a while after the fact that I even hear that something has happened to her.
Luckily I'm in a position to move on with my life. While I'm not giving up on her, there's nothing stopping me from continuing on. I'd like to get out and meet some people, friends, potential partners, etc. Though my situation is complex and messy atm, I hope those that I meet in RL will be understanding and caring enough people to be willing to stand by me and my family thru this.
Ah dating, a whole different issue there, maybe I'll write about that some time, maybe not lol.
I think tomorrow if nothing else happens again, I'll continue to keep writing. Not with any hopes that anyone reads this, but if nothing else it keeps me busy for a few mins during the day. Until then I'll try to sleep a bit.
Night for now and luck to all of us.
-Gil
Even though I did talk to her, she atm hates me. The cycle has a dissociated trigger, and right now she's reliving her past childhood trauma's which the center figure was her father. Since now in her life I'm the "man" of the house I've taken his position in her life (as far as the dissociation goes). So for now she's going to hate me, hate everything about me, and give up her entire life just to escape from me. She's already chopped off her hair, went and got a body piercing (non of which she ever wanted to do), smoking, drinking, etc. She's trying to cope with her escape and there's no good way for her to do so with the state she's in.
Yes, I've tried every avenue to get her help, but the state workers that have been assisting her for the past many years are limitted on what they can do for her. She's on her own and everyone's waiting for her to end up in the ER.
Anyways, my day's won't get any better. Because of the medication issue this could take days, weeks, even months and it might be a while after the fact that I even hear that something has happened to her.
Luckily I'm in a position to move on with my life. While I'm not giving up on her, there's nothing stopping me from continuing on. I'd like to get out and meet some people, friends, potential partners, etc. Though my situation is complex and messy atm, I hope those that I meet in RL will be understanding and caring enough people to be willing to stand by me and my family thru this.
Ah dating, a whole different issue there, maybe I'll write about that some time, maybe not lol.
I think tomorrow if nothing else happens again, I'll continue to keep writing. Not with any hopes that anyone reads this, but if nothing else it keeps me busy for a few mins during the day. Until then I'll try to sleep a bit.
Night for now and luck to all of us.
-Gil
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