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I am tired of crying. It seems like I cry every single day. My life will never be the same again. I use to be so happy and I miss those days. My sweet sweet husband... its still a shock to me that he's gone. I wish I could have told him to stay home that day and maybe he still would be alive. My heart is so damaged right now and I'm not sure if it can ever be repaired. I will always love my husband and I miss him soooooooo much......it hurts. GOD PLEASE HEAL MY PAIN,PLEASE!!!
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Past Entries
I feel your pain, we thought we had a couple of weeks when he came home from the hospital, we only got 10 hours. He was asleep 7 of them. I was a happy person too. I am here for you, my heart feels like it is a million pieces.
cinde08
Dear Milla, I know exactly how you feel, I pick up the phone 30 times a day and yet I can never call who I want most. My children are practically ignoring me, and the only ones I can cry with are my dogs. My mother has gone through this and it is killing me that now is the time she picked to shut me out. I am just trying to get through each day. love,Amy
Paulsdoll
Sweetheart, we all know what you are going thru...in one way or another...I promise you the heart will heal but, it will ALWAYS be scarred...I, too hurt so bad that the pain overwhelms me at times...Many,Many hugs ...Barb
TreasuresMom
I am with you, I know I want Benny back so bad!! The pain is so bad and I want to be with him. I pray that God will let me be with him soon. Everyone keeps telling me how much I am needed and wanted but for some reason I don't feel either. I ask Benny to come and get me and I tell him how lonely I am without him. I am so miserable!!!!!! You are not alone in your pain. I know God is with us but it still hurts so bad!!!
Take Care, Maria
maria64
At first all I could think of day and night was how much I did not want to be here. But I had grandchildren who were already suffering the loss of their dad and then their grandpa so I had to focus on that thought and I still just hated being here without him. It gets better it really does. It does not go away but it gets easier to accept and learn to deal with. I still cry for him but not as much as at first. The first year was the worst thing I had ever been through and he is in my thought as soon as I wake in the morning and the last thing I think of at night but I have learned to cope better. Hugs!!!
GoneForever
I UNDERSTAND MY FRIEND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND ALL THE PAIN YOU ARE FEELING. I REALLY MISS MY HUSBAND ALSO AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM AND HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOR HIM. I AM HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE MY FRIEND
bdsurov
Milla -- you have to stop blaming yourself and doubting , and allowing all those "what if's " or "if onlys" into your head. That is the devil trying to get you to
doubt yourself. Your husbands plan was set in motion before you two ever met. And I know you hurt. And will always miss him.
I think that the anti-anxiety is the only thing that has helped me get through that feeling of wanting to go over the edge. If you feel comfortable, maybe you need a short term xanax or klonipin to help you get through this.
Nothing is going to erase that pain, but it will help you find that clarity you need.
You are always in my prayers sweetheart. And you will find peace someday, when you are ready.
Love ,
Laura
nurse23
Oh honey, I know oh so much the motions and pain that you are feeling right now. First of all you are not alone. Although your husband left you. you are not alone, Your friends here at ds are here for you. They know the shoes you wear, and at one point or another they could fit in the shoes.
Know that you are allowed to feel the way you do.
You are allowed to cry and cry hard what ever helps
Hit a pillow if that makes you feel better
Do not and I reapeat do not blame yourself from stopping him from leaving that day. You can not beat yourself up for that. We never know what the day is going to bring. And it is not your fault. So take a deap breathe.
That is why we need to love for today. An old friend told me this old saying and sometimes when I am really down I think of it and lifts me up.
Dream like there will always be a tomorrow. And live today like it is going to end today.
This lifts me up because there is hope and when we dream we accomplish many things. What happen if the person who had a dream to bring us all together, never went through with creating DS> we would never of known one another. So If we dream big and go after those dreams great things will happpen. Also, when we live for today, people really see love!!!!!!!!
Another thing, is there is hope, I do believe this. It is not easy, but you must continue one step at a time.
I pray the Lord will comfort you. Keep crying out to the Lord. He knows the desire of your heart. He knows how much you miss your husband. Prayer can move mountains. It set people free in the bible. And healed the sick. It will one day heal your heart ache my dear friend. Know I am here for you.
eileenR