soap123's Journal

its finally here my husband went to treatment....I should be happy but im not still very scared thinking he wont make it or he will end up leaving.as it is thier only keeping him 6 days then told him to go to intence outpatient yea that might work,no insurance so they dont have many options and because he is the only one working he is stressed about money just another reason not to do the right thing...the only good thing is i can SLEEP ,not being scared hes coming home and acting like an ass.or if he is in jail,hospital or dead pretty sad he calls and makes all kinds of promises tells me things are gonna change i just dont trust him i know i love him but is the damage done to far gone .it is time to do some deep soul searching I keep thinking about all the lies he has told this was the most honest man that i ever met and this addiction took over .doing aa meetings at night and drinking vodka at lunch time and i feel like a complete fool.he never drank vodka this last past relapse one years worth thats what he drinks..makes me sick the person he has become hopefully god is gonna help him this time he has the tools he needs to work 12 steps and the program and maybe things will change....