miraclechild's Journal

about me

Monday, April 28, 2008

well I never know what to write in here so I'll start by telling some about me. 1st my name is mary and im 42 yrs.old I was raped and molested at ages 9 and 10 yrs of age and it happened alot in those ages. my family abandoned me when it happened blaming it on me. sometimes I still feel guilt and i tend to blame myself. I was left with depression and PTSD from all this. my family has alot of issues of their own witch is why I think they blamed me when I got raped and molested. see the person who did that to me did it to other people in my family also but their in denial about it. I became a christian about 15 yrs.ago and filled with the holyghost soon after. I believe strongly that if god wasnt their when I got raped and molested I would of been killed. okenough of that. addisons disease is a adrenalin disorder its a very rare disorder.I also have luekemia but been in remission about 1month now. luekemia is a cancer of the blood. I got HIV from when I was raped so many times but its under control now.

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Comments

Good news on the remission. Dont feel bad sweetie. Just remember it wasnt your fault.It never goes away but you can find good things and blessings to keep you going. I had it happen for majority of my young life. long stories there...Yes family can be strange. it is a different world now . most of the times kids can get help and are beleived. I had the same issues with family. Its really tough..But i count my blessings everyday and know that some how i was protected from this..Yes i get depressed but have repressed most memories.Sorry about the Aids. Thats rough to come back with...But it is okay. you are in gods hands. You are just ill and a human being with feelings. My heart goes out to you..really..prayers too...anytime you need me just holler.....luv lilmiss

littlemisstracy2u
you seem to be such a sweet strong person....we are all always here for you

russ77
I know what ur dealing with when ur family turns their back on u. I have ptsd due to childhood trama. Take care huggles

LadyTrucker
Hugs, I am glad you found us. It takes a strong person to have survived what you have, I am proud to have you as my friend. If you need to chat let me know.

lost2bp
Tis a lot what you are going thru...I was raped by my brother and it wasn't until I was 37, REALLY started to deal w/ it. Now I go to a counselor and attend a rape/incest group once a week which helps reduce my anxiety and shame...s l o w l y getting toward my inner child. Hugs and prayers. DT

dakotatears
How saddened I am when I read about yet another person whos childhood was stolen from them. Know that you are not alone!!!!! Whenever you would like to talk I am a good listener and I don't judge. I hope that we can become better friends!
Big hugs to you!!!!!!!

lav
I am so sorry for all you have been through and then to get HIV inaddition, to all that has taken place in your life. Family will tend to abandon one after such an event. As they like to sweep things under the carpet and not deal with the real issue at hand. I am always here for you. Take care. jan

rosemae
sorry you have gone through this in your life !!! Too many children get their innicence taken away from them and it makes me mad ...Always always remember IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND NEVER WAS YOUR FAULT !!!! it is the person who did this to you it is their fault...If you like to read our journals look up the one i called "death and betrayal" on my profile and it will tell you about something that i recently had to go through !!!! Biggg hugggssssssssssss Newfie

newfieneedingsupport
P.s the journal entry was (I think) late Feb 2008

newfieneedingsupport
Hi hun i feel your pain and your dispeair,don't you ever blame yourself for what some sicko did to you,all you have been throught at such a young age is just horrorfifeing i am so very sorry,you are a strong soul to have lived throught all this,i pray for your healing hun,and as i said before you are never alone hun i'am here because i do care deaply,i only wish there were more i could do to help you,hugs,love,and i am here for you hun,Bless you deeply,your friend carla7777...xxxooo

carla7777
HI I MUST SAY THAT AFTER READING YOUR STORY THAT YOU MUST HAVE SUCH A STRONG SPIRIT AND SOUL TO HAVE OVERCOMED ALL OF THAT AND STILL BE HERE. I AM SO SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU I JUST COULD NOT IMAGINE ALL OF THE OBSTACLES YOU HAVE OVERCOME IN YOUR LIFE ONLY A STRONG PERSON COULD HANDLE THAT GOD BLESS!

JUSTME616