NikiJo's Journal

Well I just came to a realization.......

Being new to DS and just recently posting my "drama" to everyone, I've also been doing a lot of reading of people's profiles and their posts.

It seems to be that almost EVERYONE who is on here who was dumped by their spouse was because another woman was involved! (or man - I understand there are men on here hurting too because their wife left them for another man)

What the hell is wrong with people these days? Why bother getting married if your wedding vows don't mean anything to you? I mean what's the point in getting married if " for better or worse" means "for better until I find something better" or until "this just don't work for me anymore." It like nobody takes it seriously. And these damn divorce laws we have these days.......geez! I mean it used to be you had to have a good reason to get a divorce. Hell, these days you walk into a lawyer's office, slap your grand down in front of him and say " I don't like her/him anymore" and PRESTO! you got your divorce!

It's like a commercial that was on TV not that long ago. I forget what it was advertising now, but it said how we live in a world of instant gratification.....don't like your nose - get a new one. Don't like your job - get a new one. Don't like your spouse - get a new one! That commercial was always playing when my ex first said he wanted a divorce.......and every time it came on tv I made sure he heard it!

Because basically that's what my ex did to me! His vows didn't mean shit! I was something to fill his need at the time. I MEANT what I said!

He was selfish and only thinking about himself. Actually he let the "wrong head" do his thinking for him.

I didn't get a choice or a say in the matter about whether or not I wanted a divorce. It's just what I got - like it or not!

My kids didn't have a say in the matter. They didn't have a say in whether or not they wanted to be uprooted from their home, friends, and school. They just got it - like it or not!

I've come realize he's a small, selfish, out-for-himself person. I only WISH to God I wouldn't have had to find out the hard way.

People who cheat on their spouses are EXTREMELY selfish and only put their own feelings first - not the feelings of their spouse or children (if there are any)

I think I am entering a different phase of my grief now.

I spent months in the denial stage. I really never thought he would actually go through with the divorce.

God knows I've spent who knows how long in the depression stage, of which I'm not completely out of yet (I'm going in and out of that one) I've spent weeks wailing and moaning, and barely being able to get out of bed in the mornings.

But now I find I am entering the ANGER stage. It just pisses me off to no end to think about how he took 3 lives and wrecked them like a tornado! He dropped the bottom out of my life and then walked away like it was "no biggie"

So yeah, I'm getting mad now. But maybe I need to so I can make progress and get through this.

I am really starting to believe in the o'l' saying of what comes around, goes around.

I have to believe that people who do these kinds of things are going to reap what they sow someday.

They may or may not get their judgment in this life......who knows.

But there WILL come a time that they will have to answer for their actions.

I hope to my ex that it was worth it for him.......because like I said before, he deserves a front-row seat in HELL!!!

Well, I feel a little better now. Those are just my thoughts for the evening.