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Well the first time since ive given up my daughter has gone away for a few days and boy am i struggling! Decided i need a treat so thought i would have just one packet .....talked myself out of that one How stupid can i be. Anyway really pleased I decided not to treat myself to something that makes me feel horrid and smells and woill ultimately kill me. So decided to come on here till i feel better and everytime I try and get on the discussion bit my computer crashes!! Oh well at least I know a ciggi will not make me feel any better. I must be getting better !!
well here i am again. I really thought i had cracked it but hey this time I will do it. I must do it. I just have to keep strong and remember that what ever is going on in my life a cigarette will not help. it makes it worse because I was so ashamed to have given in that I became a secret smoker which brought problems of its own. I didnt want to tell my daughter that I had started to smoke again so I waited till she went out or went and had a bath. These times were so stressful because a) i knew i was letting myself down b) I didnt want to be found out.
I knew I didnt want to do this anymore when one morning last week I actually set my alarm for 5.30 in the morning so I could go outside and have a cigarette before my daughter woke up then come in and have a shower so I wouldnt smell. HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT??????
Comments
well here i am again. havent been on here for a while for a number of reasons, main one being have really had to re-evaluate everything. My relationship with my fiancee being the main one. We've just split up and have had to yet again pick up the pieces but this time without smoking. wow this is hard!! So tired will have to go to bed and get back on here tomorrow must stop hiding away from everything and everyone !!
Past Entries
| May 2008 |
Saturday, 5/17
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Tuesday, 5/06
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April 2008 |
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Monday, 4/21
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Monday, 4/21
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Goal Updated
Well my friend you have many people who has did the same things as you did to hide there smoking from others. Its an addiction that makes us its slave. It is hard to fight the addiction and get our freedom back, but you can do it. I did and I was a smoke many years. I quit cold turkey. You will do this when your ready to break free. Good luck
lov12
Hi Jenni~..welcome back...being on just day 7 myself, I have had those thoughts...of trying to get away with it....I'm not going to give into those thoughts....and I hope you don't either....Lets stay strong together....and make the commit every day....and someday we will be able to laugh at the crazyness of it all...Take care....and stay safe dear one...
dchinlady