heartbrokentexan's Journal

 Over the past 3 months I have hoped I could get over the affair my husband had. I am still holding on to that hope but day by day it seems like every time I turn around I am suspecting it's another women. I know it is unlikely considering he did it 3 yrs ago and that is the only time I know of but since I only found out recently I cant help wondering how many more there was,is,will be! Now a girl from his work tried adding him to her myspace (why is myspace turning out to be nothing but trouble?) and I asked who she was and at first he told me her AND her H work at the same place as him, then I find out she is getting divorced and her husband isnt even in the truck driving proffesion, and then we see her at the carnival this last wk end and she acted like a high school girl with a crush. Bouncing around,laughing loudly, talking so that he could here her,checking to see if he was watching her or not...ect. But the whole time she never once would come up to him and say hi or even a simple wave. I mean for christ sake,if she knows him well enough to add him to her page wouldn't she want to say hi and meet his wife if she ran into him? I definetly would. She made things seem very suspicious! I asked him about it and he got angry so that is another sign that this time I WILL NOT IGNORE like I did 3 yrs ago. Maybe he hasn't slept with her yet but my best bet is he has thought about it or at least has made her believe he would be interested. On monday she had her status as " I thought he might actually be different but once again I was proved wrong". wow! Maybe the whole time she had no clue he was married? Anyways, I have decided to go to counseling to try and figure out if there is anyway for me to quit being so jealous,crazy,full of revenge,anger,ect... I hope it saves my marriage and not destroy it. Like I said, she is going through a divorce maybe her status was meant for her husband???!!