Join · Help

Spread the Word!
Get a DS flyer to post

DS Store is Open
DS t-shirts and more

It's been a tough week across the globe. Share your thoughts in our new 2008 Financial Crisis support group.

Jeannine's Journal

Journal Entry for April 15, 2008 Mood

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I don't know what has come over me these last few days. For some reason I have been feeling a little freaked. I am constantly feeling my neck. I feel like I am finding new lumps. I am constantly bugging my poor husband to feel my neck. Have I turned into a hypochondriac or am I actually finding signs of a relapse. After my first round of chemo the lumps started to return after about six weeks. Right now I am at about the 8 week post treatment mark. I can't even imagine the thought of this crap returning. THAT IS JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!

I don't see the doctor for another two weeks. I suppose there is no sense in worrying, there's really not much anyone could do about it anyways at this point.

Aside from that things have been going quite well. I have been hitting the gym on most days of the week. I can already tell that I am getting stronger. Not ready for an Iron Man or anything (Kevin ) but I am feeling pretty good.

Tomorrow I'm having a little slumber party with my niece. That should be fun. She's 5 and she actually insisted that we have her spend the night by herself without her 2 other sisters. She is bringing over the movie Enchanted. She cracks me up. She actually said she was worried that her Uncle Terry might get scared by the witch, so we are going to have to hold his hand. She is too cute.

I'm sure I'm fine, I'm probably just having a freak out week. I'm sure after all that has happened that's to be expected.

I think I typed that to try and reassure myself.

Hug Jeannine

Send to a Friend

Comments

I think you're OK but it's worth paying attention to. For the first five years we'll be living the life of cautious optimism. Past five years we'll be in much better shape. We can never truly get away from the specter of this but over time we can come to accept it and gain strength from conquering that fear.

Check out Team in Training (I know, I've mentioned it before). You don't have to do anything really insane like an Ironman, but there are very attainable and realistic events you can do. I've worked out a deal with work. I'm taking on acrappy shift for most of the rest of this year in exchange for serious consideration when December/January comes around. At that time I'll be moved into another shift to allow me to train with TnT.

Who knows - if you sign up at that time for the same event we'll eventually get to meet and someone else will pay for it! Not only that but we'll get to support each other as we work through the training. (I assure you, the first event is a short triathlon - no ironmans for at least two years). Just thinking out load. :)

But to stay on topic - keep working out and getting healthier. Keep focused on remission but keep checking. Best way to check is to use a body lotion or baby oil so lumps if any really stand out. It's a part of 'normal' for us now to have to check, but I think it's an acceptable part.

KevinH
stay strong and try not to worry. i know how you feel and once u thinkg you've found a lump, its hard to know if its really there or not. its also really difficult for others to feel a lump, even if it's there, so that doesn't help much.

try to relax and maybe feel the 'lump' from a few different positions and move ur neck a bit. if you still think its there maybe its worth while going to the dr a bit earlier, just for a quick check up. im sure they wouldn't have a problem checking your neck if you explained that its causing stress.

it may well be that it is just stress and that's perfectly reasonable. try not to worry and im sure it will be ok. i really don't think its anything to worry about, but you are working urself too hard and doing far too much. like i said the other day, you need to take it easy or you won't do yourself any favours.

love u lots

xxxxx

pinky
oh baby baby... take a deep breath.... I am here too... so... is there pizza and fun included in this slumber party? I love being an aunt....

colored_cheerios
awww sweet girl! I wish i could tell you not to worry, but after my husband died and thinking I was infected too, I turned into a hypochondriac and still am, and this was him not me, so I can only imagine...I think you are perfectly inclined and welcome to be a hypochondriac, just don't worry yourself sick. Last week the doctor called and left a message to call asap. Of course I flipped out and got that sick feeling again, turned out to be hnothing, my iron levels are just incredibly low and I need iron supplements, but that scared feeling was just all too real and at this point I'm not sure if I will ever forget what that felt like the first time. It made me get weird all over again! Hope you had a fun sleepover and didn't worry yourself too much! Hugs!

anewstart