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Kyle: soo
Brielle: sooo
Brielle: are we continuing or forgetting?
Kyle: it really depends on what you want to do
Brielle: idk really
Brielle: idc
Brielle: yeah i really dont care
Kyle: well i realy dont know
Kyle: cuz i want to do what you want to do
Kyle: if you dont want to talk about it i dont want to force you to
Brielle: idc whatever you want to do
Kyle: well
Kyle: how bad is it?
Brielle: what in particular
Brielle: ?
Kyle: just your bleh-iness
Brielle: ummm
Brielle: well idk really
Brielle: yeah i pretty much dont know much of anythin
Brielle: so whatever
Brielle: i think its pretty bad
Kyle: oh
Brielle: the bleh
Kyle: well then
Kyle: lets talk about it then
Brielle: idk though
Kyle: so
Kyle: whats up?
Brielle: umm idk really im just pretty depressed
Kyle: well
Kyle: is there anything you want to talk about then?
Brielle: idk its like my head is full of so much shit i just dont know what thoughts im even having
Kyle:
Kyle: like what type of shit?
Brielle: idk thats the thing
Brielle: like
Brielle: everything'
Kyle: then empty out your head to me
Kyle: tell me everything
Brielle: ummmmm
Brielle: basically i fail at life
Brielle: i cant get my grades up
Brielle: i cant do my work
Brielle: i cant help my friends
Brielle: i cant talk to my parents
Brielle: i cant do anything
Kyle: well
Kyle: nobody talks to there parents
Brielle: they do more than i do
Kyle: and you cant do your work because your feeling bad
Kyle: not incapable of it
Kyle: right?
Brielle: idk
Brielle: right now it feels like no
Brielle: but maybe its yes
Kyle: well
Kyle: if your incapable of it
Brielle: have you ever failed 6 math tests in a row?
Brielle: six
Kyle: no i havent
Brielle: in a row
Brielle: not fail like 59
Brielle: fail like 20
Brielle: that feels so bad
Brielle: ive never actually said that before
Brielle: ive never even THOUGHT that before
Brielle: shit
Brielle: i just kinda laughed them off
Brielle: but yeah
Brielle: they hurt
Kyle: i know babe
Brielle: when you think about it
Kyle: well then, you need to study more
Kyle: which i know is a problem
Brielle: you have no fucking idea how much i study
Brielle: like it doesnt seem like i do at all
Brielle: cause like i dont do my hw
Brielle: but like
Brielle: i make flashcards
Brielle: i write out notes
Brielle: then i type them
Brielle: they i print them out and study them
Kyle: brielle
Kyle: for math
Brielle: i met with a tutor every week
Kyle: doing homework is going to be much more effective than flashcards
Brielle: i do assignments
Brielle: just not the ones she says to do
Brielle: its fucked
Brielle: i know
Brielle: but
Brielle: a;skudgh
Brielle: like i do problems from sections im reviewing
Brielle: and like old sections
Brielle: and afuhs
Brielle: yoas9 eupt8a0
Brielle: taefa
Brielle: w9epa890w4e
Brielle: rtuae
Kyle: well
Kyle: you should be doing the homework too
Brielle: i want to
Brielle: but i dont
Brielle: because
Brielle: like
Brielle: i guess
Brielle: its the only form of control i have on my life
Brielle: if i have something to blame myself for then maybe it means im not so fucked
Kyle: but brie
Brielle: maybe its my fault not something i cant control
Kyle: if you did the homework you wouldnt be so fucked
Brielle: no
Brielle: thats the thing
Brielle: its not something i can fix
Brielle: its not that i feel bad about my grades
Brielle: its that i feel bad so i dont do the work and thus get bad grades and use that as a fucking excuse
Brielle: nothign can fix that
Kyle: well brielle
Kyle: im sorry to say this
Kyle: but you should feel bad about your grades
Kyle: you should care what your getting
Brielle: well i do
Kyle: if you really did youd be doing your homework
Brielle: no
Brielle: its not that easy!
Brielle: look if it was just willpower do you think id cut?
Brielle: do you think id fucking compare different suicide methods?
Brielle: do you think id fucking BE SAD!?
Brielle: its not
Brielle: my
Brielle: choice
Kyle: it is your choice
Brielle: NO
Brielle: NO ITS NOT
Kyle: if its not yours whose is it?
Brielle: its not a choice at all!
Brielle: its a chemical imbalance of the brain
Brielle: meds might work
Brielle: but w/e they're not now
Kyle:
Brielle: w/e it doesnt matter
Kyle: it does matter
Brielle: not anymore
Kyle: to me it does
Brielle: well then it can be your choice
Kyle: its too late to fix this year
Brielle: cause im done choosing
Kyle: well then
Kyle: i choose to stay after with you next year and help with your homework
Brielle: thanks
Brielle: look im being a jerk and i just need to calm down
Brielle: im gonna go for a bit
Kyle: are you going to be ok?
Brielle: yeah whatever. i just dont want to yell at you like im doing now
Kyle: i know babe
Kyle: i love you
Brielle: i love you too
Brielle: ttyl maybe
Comments
I'm curious. How did you interpret Kyle's reactions? Seems to me he is trying to understand and support. Not perfect, but trying - human in fact. Maybe like you in fact, but you are currently in a darker place. Accept the support that is offered. Accept that you are worthy of support, and that you will not always need it, but that there is no shame in accepting it when you do.
tryingmum
yeah reading over it again i can totally see that he is trying really hard to help but at the time its like he's totally kicking me when i'm down and saying that there is no reason for this and no reason for me to be doing so badly in school and if i actually try i can change it which is NOT true. but yeah i know he was trying to encourage me, not slash me down, and find out how best to help
L0veme4me
i agree. it doesn't seem like he wants to hurt you, but to help. he probably just doesn't know how to do it right.
CloudStrife