tooele's Journal

I don't know how to start this tonight. I'm so happy, so relieved, my son is back. he's talking normal, able to sit and have a conversation, and tease me about basketball. my apartment feels like home , this week has been so scarry and when this first started monday night, the shock hits you like a ton of bricks, your mind and body go into emergency mode, and you stay there untill it calms down. Iv'e been through this numerous times, this one had no warning. alex is still very limited with what he can and canot do, and that's the normal Alex.

today we had teachers on alert, counselors were called,  his case worker called she was worried about me, and if I would make it though this ok. She asked me to join a parent support group for parents of mentally ill children. I think I will go. there is a support group for Alex too. He said he would go.

i'm starting to come down off the shock mode now,feeling a little bit streesed still, that will take a few days to wear off.  I'm actually expecting the next month to be a roller coaster of emotions, my son isn't graduating untill september, but he will be done, and home, and becoming an adult. I expect another round of episodes, as long as I know about it, and can try to find ways to help before the relapse hits, this next round will go much smoother. my back hurts so bad tonight, I don't want to lie down, my back has swelled up on both sides of my spine. When I lay down, i'm laying on all that swollen muscle. not so great to sleep on. I took my schduled medicine, It was like drinking a glass of water, lortab won't help the swelling, it's just to calm the pain. im thinking a hot bath, then ice, then heating pad, then ice. it's really hard to get ice on your back without anybody around (lol). if we had a camera it would win the 10,000 on america's funnyest videos. I'm so tired,worn out, and emotinally drained.