Happyinlalaland's Journal

It seems I have been pretty good with keeping up with this journal...much to my surprise. Would you believe I am still waiting for the results of the MRI of my gallbladder?  Actually, the GI called me on Tuesday to say he wants a bunch of liver related blood work done at my primary's and then I need to see him when the results are in. That is set up for next Monday (10/06).

I had my routine mammo last Monday and Thursday got a phone call stating I need to have 'further studies' done asap. Today I went for the further studies and while waiting to leave was told I now need an ultrasound for 'more further studies'. I will schedule this later today.

I had ultrasounds of both legs because I have poor circulation and loads of swelling that seems to never go down anymore. This has gotten so much worse since the accident in March. Now I wait for more results. I have an appointment at the end of October with the Vascular Surgeon. I'm sure if there was a major problem, I would have received a phone call...so again...I wait.

For October, I have my routine medical appointments with the Opthalmologist, Podiatrist, Cardiologist, and Neurologist. I am beginning to feel like a hypocondriac (sp??) but I neglected myself for many years while taking care of my children and husband. I never allowed myself the time to be sick unless I had no choice..like a torn rotator cuff. So now is time for me and my husband is having a bad time understanding it. It seems that he must have earned his MD while being in a nursing home because he sure has an opinion (uninvited) on everything I say.

The hubby called again tonight and I picked up the phone. I try to avoid him in between my visits because he tries to pull hard at the heart strings. He is angry and now wants a divorce...again.  I told him he has money in his personal account at the nursing home and they will help him get one. We have gone thru this for about 20 years. It breaks down to ..if he doesn't get his own way, he wants a divorce. One year while the kids were still at home, he started in September telling everyone he wanted money for Christmas because he found a divorce attorney who would handle it for $85. So for Christmas, the kids gave him the money and the name of an attorney for him to call.  He said he changed his mind and would put up with me.  He is not serious because he knows no one would put up with his crap other than me.  When he doesn't get an answer to his calls, he leaves some nasty messages about me running the streets or keeps calling back (up to 17 times in 1 day).  He is blind and very forgetful because of the many strokes so he has to get his helpful roommate to dial the phone. I've had to put a stop to this with the nursing supervisor which caused me problems with the roommate Herbie. My hubby's behavior is typical for him so it doesn't bother me too much anymore except to annoy me.  I tried to explain that I have some medical problems I am seeing doctors for and he tells me I am selfish for giving myself so much time. He thinks I should stop all my meds and be done with the doctors. If he knew I was home all day on disability, my life would be h*ll.  He can't know anything about anything in my life because the only focus he has is moving back home with me so I can take care of HIM. He can't seem to remember that I had a heart attack from all the stress of his medical problems a week after his last big stroke which is the one that put him in the nursing home permanently. This Sunday is our 40th wedding anniversary and he won't remember and I can't remind him as it will start another episode of his nasty mouth to me.

Well, enough of my complaining for now. Life will continue as it is and I will survive. I am thankful I have pretty terrific grown children who have wonderful children who keep me alive.

Last Friday I had an MRI of the gallbladder to see why things are not as they should be. Again...I wait for the results.  I have a feeling this is leading to surgery and I'm not in a hurry yet so I'll wait for the phone call again. 

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 Last Friday I received a call from my primary physician's office stating that he wanted to see me asap to review the results of the ultrasound of the liver/gallbladder. I had an appointment for this morning.  Now I need to have an MRI (MRCP) of the gallbladder asap. He said the ultrasound shows a bile duct is 3 times larger than it should be which means that it is not working properly and I may have a stone lodged in it or one passed thru already stretching it.  I guess I am too dumb to know when I am in pain.  Actually, I've had episodes of pain but chose to sit it out.  The last place I want to be is in a hospital ER for hours and hours.  I really think that if the pain is severe enough, I would call someone. 

This is just an update. I asked why he was concerned with my gallbladder since I never complain about it.  His answer was that the gallbladder/liver has a lot to do with IBS. The newest concept with the GI doctor and my primary doctor is that many IBS sufferers often complain about having a swollen stomach after they eat and the end result could be an IBS attack.  Since I am not a doctor, this sounds pretty reasonable to me and definitely describes the problems I have experienced.

I'm just adding this note in case anyone else has the same problem and may want to discuss this option with their doctor.  This is really a new way of thinking for the doctor's I have seen.

Anne

I am still not having fun with the doctors I have seen in the last few weeks.  I am actually exhausted from not sleeping well.  My IBS has kicked in twice which is better than before I was given the new medication but I had hoped for a miraculous cure.

Being off diabetes medication completely, means I have to be very careful what I eat. The GI doctor says I should be able to maintain a high fibre diet by now but salads are what set off my IBS, 2 weeks in a row. I have not added fruit back yet as I am afraid of the results. Can you imagine being afraid of food?  I lost 20 pounds before the medicine was change from IBS problems that would not go away. Upon feeling better, I have gained back the weight and not happy about it.

Today I saw as Vascular doctor because I have swelling in my legs and feet that won't go away. I take a water pill daily but it doesn't help much with the swelling. The only way I can get it down a bit is to lay flat on my back for hours at a time. How am I supposed to live being flat on my back?...nevermind, don't answer that!!!  I made a different career choice many years ago. LOL  Now I need to have 2 ultrasounds of my legs to rule out blood clots and to check the circulation.  The swelling has been so much worse since I was in an accident. Possibly it could be as a result of not being able to walk as much as I had due to my back spasms or just sitting too long thru out the day. 

I still have headaches that occur severals times a day.  I see the Neurologist next week for them and to have an EMG to assess the damage in my back...more fun!

My hubby must spend all day trying to figure a way for me to take him out of the nursing home. It is good that his brain is working overtime but then he calls me to discuss his ideas and gets angry when I tell him I am not able to support him physically anymore. I still have a torn rotator cuff from trying to catch him during his last stroke which is what put him in the nursing home. He is not able to walk any longer due to really bad legs from diabetes. He has gained much weight because the staff feeds him anything he wants. He has gained over 100 pounds since becoming a permanent resident there. I am almost 5' tall and he is 5'11" and I am no where near his weight which is a problem trying to take him out. He wants to go to a movie and dinner. I don't drive anymore but he can't remember that and gets nasty with me when I try to explain the problems.  More often than not, he says something nasty and hangs up on me when he doesn't like what I have to say. Because he is blind and has holes in his brain from 4 strokes, he has his roommate dial the phone to call me**over and over**until I answer it. Some nights I prefer not to talk to anyone because of the headaches or just being too tired to cope with the stress.

Ok, I'm done complaining for now.  Thanks for listening.  God bless you all!

Anne