hjj9's Journal

So I have talked with several people in this support group and I have been doing a lot of thinking as too why I cut and how I feel before and after. My current boyfriend, Cic, is my everything right now. I love him so much and it has been like that since day one. We were inseperable and I hope I am able to spend the rest of my life with him. We are very open and honest with each other. He knows about what I go through and he's the one to brush my hair and kiss my forhead and make me smile when all I want to do is cry. He told me recently that he can't love someone who doesn't themselves and that if I want to be with him I have to stop cutting. He didn't mean like cut back he meant like after this conversation your done cutting. I haven't since... it's been almost a month. I have terrible nightmares still and I'm a little more moody, and yes i still get HUGE urges, but I CANNOT force myself to let him down.