swirlingmisery's Journal

I have no hope for the future.  I know I will never find a man who I could love more.  He was my dream man and I really thought we were meant for each other.  The other night he told me he's not sure he ever loved me.  If I pressed forward with more questions, he threatened to leave right then and there. 

He just got a promotion at his job and will now have to work every Saturday, so we would almost never see each other.  I had been nagging him about us having no time together.  He wakes up at 5:00am, goes and works out, then works until 5:30pm on Monday and Tuesday, then goes to school on those nights and gets home about 9:30pm.  Wednesdays, he would get off at 5:30pm, but go play soccer and still get home about 9:30pm.  He would get up at the same time on Thursdays and Fridays, but then just work late, so he'd and up back home at about 9:30pm anyway. 

The only time he'd come home at a regular time on Fridays would be if we had his daughter for the weekend, which was every other weekend.  So, no, we didn't have hardly any time together.  And when I hit the fan about losing my Saturdays with him because of the promotion, I made the suggestion that my boys and I would leave.  But I didn't mean it and never would have followed through.  He stewed with this over the next couple of days after I said it and refused to accept my break-up.  Then he came to me and said I was right and it's no life for us and that he wanted us out this Summer.

He is being so cold about it and will not even consider a reconciliation.  It was my suggestion, but now he thinks it's the best thing and says we didn't have anything in common and we aren't right for each other.  I loved him so much and he definitely at least ACTED like he loved me very much, too.  We never worried about the other cheating and were totally devoted.  How could this have happened?  I miss him so much already and we haven't even moved out yet.  I am dead inside.