suziesmom's Journal

Journal Entry for May 6, 2008 Mood

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 | A Rambling story

well I made it through yesterday they didn't go as crazy with it as i was afraid, I am just not used to having things done for me. I am trying to stay positive for the weekend coming and may still be numb enough to pull it off. Did some cleaning and laundry today, still waiting on my hutch to come in it's been nearly 5 weeks and they origanally said 3, I'm rfrustrated with them. I am still debating going to graduation, I don't know why i feel i should be there but i do, and am afraid i will regret not going later, they're not doing anything for her aat ceramony and will give us her diploma when it is ready, but i still feel a need to be there, I think it is partly because i was supposed to be there and am feeling cheated. I have to go to town tommorow, hate being around people-they either don't know what to say but try or avoid me all together, I am getting used to being avoided though, even my best friend of 24 yrs seems to avoid-she is in illinois and we used to talk almost everyday by phone or computer and now it's every once in a while and when we do talk it's short not hours like before maybe 5-10 min. I miss her. I guess i'm just feeling sorry of all the things this has changed in my life. One thing, i read some of the newer moms journals and can still feel those first feeling ect... but realize i am progressing and while i hate that these new moms have to be here it helps me to see i am progressing in this new life i must lead. Thanks to everyone on here I just can't even begin to find the words, I don't think i would have made it this far without you all.

UPDATED GOALS

be ok with life

Progress 5%

Encouragements: 2

Add your support

Hug suzie...

Send to a Friend

Comments

I understand completely. I can't be around people either. Don't like crowds now, and like more than me is a crowd. I'm glad that you didn't have as hard a time yesterday as anticipated. As we try to grasp this new life of ours some expectations can be controlled by our own take on things. Then there are the days that just broad side you without any notice at all. Try to keep your chin up. Love and Hugs.

TracyW
In time people will talk freely and talk more often. The hard thing is that life goes on for those around us as it should and for us too but at a different pace. We look at things so differently and the conversations we used to have with people aren't always what we care about anymore. You are doing great and as hard as it is to see new moms, there will always be one, and they will appreciate all that you can give to them from your experience. I think you should go to graduation. It's easier to leave if it is too difficult than to regret not going. Hope your hutch gets here soon. Love Robin

Robin4
It is interesting how we do change or improve or whatever you want to call this...so maybe there will come a time when the sorrow is even less. I admire you for making the decision to go to graduation. If you are following your heart then you can't go wrong...love and hugs...Karen

biowoman