yowza's Journal

OH NO HE DIDNT!!!!!!!!!!!! Mood

Friday, May 16, 2008 | A Venting story

I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS LAST NIGHT BUT I WAS SO MAD I WAS SHAKING! I THOUGHT MY CHEST WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. I THINK THE LAST THING I MUTTERED BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP WAS I JUST CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.........SO I WAS SITTING HERE IN MY BED WITH MY LAPTOP, WATCHING TV WITH THE HUBBY...WELL HE WAS SNORING AWAY BUT NOT FOR LONG! SUDDENLY I GOT THIS HUGE WIF OF CIG SMOKE.....WHAT THE HELL? HERE IT WAS ALMOST ELEVEN PM AND EVERYBODY IS IN BED AND I SMELL SMOKE? OK, AFTER DAWSON SETTING HIS ROOM ON FIRE LAST WEEK I HAD TO OF KNOWN TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE INVESTIGATING BUT AS SOON AS I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "SMOKE? CIGG SMOKE? IN MY HOUSE?" (WE DONT SMOKE) I FLEW DOWN THE HALL LIKE A WITCH ON A BROOM EVEN! I OPENED MY MIDDLE SONS BEDROOM DOOR TO FIND HIM NOT IN HIS BED BUT HANGING WAY OUTSIDE HIS BEDROOM WINDOW PUFFING AWAY!!!!!!!!!! HE HAD TO OF SEEN THE LIGHT GO ON RIGHT? SO WHY DIDNT HE AT LEAST TRY TO JUMP OUT AND RUN OR SIMPLY JUMP BACK INTO BED BEFORE I GOT THAT FAR? ALL I KNOW IS AGAIN I FLEW TO THAT FRICKEN WINDOW AND PULLED HIM BACK IN BY HIS GREASY HAIR AND SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"....."I DUNNO...' ...."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? YOURE ON PROBATION YOU IDIOT! SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL LIKE YOUR BROTHER?".........NO ANSWER! WHAT THE FRICKEN HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS? THEY JUST DONT CARE ABOUT RULES ANYMORE! I HAD A COP TELL ME THE SAME THING.....HE SAID THAT KIDS NOWADAYS DONT EVEN FEAR COPS! HOLY HELL! REALLY? WHY? ITS LIKE A STATUS THING TO GET LOCKED UP IN THIS TOWN WITH THESE KIDS.......WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! ANYWAYS, SO NOW I HAVE TO REPORT THIS INCIDENT TO COLLIN'S PROBATION OFFICER TODAY. I COULD HAVE CALLED AND HAD HIM TAKEN AWAY LAST NIGHT BUT I JUST DONT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN! ALL THE STEALING AND DOPE....I JUST KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW I INTERVIEN.....THEY ARE GONNA BE BUMBS. I JUST DONT GET IT....IM SOOOOO LOST HERE. AND BROKEN. WHEN HE AND HIS OLDER BROTHER RAN AWAY FOR A WEEK IT WAS ACTUALLY AS MUCH OF A RELIEF TO HAVE SOME PEACE IN THE HOUSE FOR A FEW DAYS, I WAS ABLE TO DEAL WITH DAWSON BETTER AND HE DIDNT HAVE HIS BIG BROTHERS PICKING ON HIM. THIS IS SO NOT HOW I SAW US AS A FAMILY WHEN I JOINED THEM. AND NO THIS ISNT ALL ABOUT SMOKING, ITS HIS GRADES, ATTENDENCE, ATTITUDE DRUGS, STEALING AND LIEING OUT HIS ASS! I JUST DONT EVEN TALK TO THEM UNLESS I HAVE TO BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS A LIE! I DONT WANNA HEAR IT! ITS INSULTING AND ITS ONE OF THE THINGS I HATE THE MOST. AND THEY KNOW THIS. SO...............I STILL NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW I AM GOING TO PROCEED WITH ALL THIS TODAY.... OH I JUST DONT KNOW.....JUST DONT FRICKEN KNOW

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Oh honey, I don't know what to say. My oldest was unbelievable, it was like we sent her to school the first day of Jr. high and she came back a diffrent person. I didn't even know her anymore. She had always been a handful with ADD and ODD Then came depression. There were days I thought what am I going to do with her? How do we get thru to her? We struggled everyday! Finally 6yrs. later she seems to be getting it together. What a relief! I pray that none of the other 3 are anything like that I don't think I would survive it! God truly gave me a break my 2nd child Michael is so the opposite, he thinks before acting, very responsible, very smart and just a very good kid. I at least got a break! He did have some depression and social anxiety but they have lessened with him getting older and growing into himself. Of course he was in counseling, they both were for a long time. I just don't know what to tell you I had no answers for us. Just love them! You are a wonderful person for taking this on many would have walked away! You truly do earn the title MOM. Just believe it must get better and I never gave up on them! Take care hun, lots of love and hugs!!!

sykntyrd04
Kids now days think they can get away with everything, because the child abuse laws are taking everything away from the parents. It's either them going to jail or us. I remember growing up and my dad would use a belt on us at times. But now days you can't even yell at them without having CPS on you. I know it's happened to me and i didn't even do anything. But not having my kids for a week was more then i could handle. I cried, cleaned my place up, couldn't eat or sleep. I know it's hard to turn them in, but do it anyhow.My boys are the only ones that i ever had problems with when it came to the law.

RVAyres