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Up and down. I had been feeling so much positive energy from my H but the past 2 or 3 days I feel like empty. He's calling more, emailing more but it's like the major stuff I feel he should be doing he can't or won't. I started a discussion about what did you ask for after the A and rightfully people posted full disclosure, complete honesty all of which I asked for as well but what bout punsihment? retribution? I want it all- a car, a new house, jewelry, little thoughtful gifts, flowers, him to get a tattoo of my name the whole 9 yards. I know it doesn't make any sense, all that stuff wouldn't mean anything BUT my H doesn't respond to guilt and shame very easily. He's sorry, regretful but it's like it's been wiped away. He's a saver (I tend to be the spender) and it will hit him where it most hurts if he has to spend money. And really a tattoo is not very expensive. I was hoping for some generous sweeping sign of his committment to "make it up to me" He did buy me a diamond necklace BUT I lost mine last summer and he had promised to replace it before so I don't really see it as a gift b/c of his stupidity. I feel guilty I feel like crap. I swear the stages of grief are so evident. Bargaining. If I act this way (more sexy, nicer) he'll stay but what about him? Why isn't he doing the same?? Why isn't he thinking what can I do for her that woudl show her I mean it? I don't think there has been any contact with the OW since I found out (d-day Macrh 12) but I don't trust him. I don't see how I ever will...
I have 2 daughters 4 and 17 months. My husband and I have ALWAYS had control tyoe issues but all in all had a good relationship. In fact since Septemeber of this year I thought is was going REALLY well. Just better.
There is a family 4 doors down who were very nice people. Their one daughter is 9 the other 4- so in passing it would always be "we should get the kids together" Nothing surfaced but around the holidays we found ourselves seeing them at neighborhood functions. We even went out to dinner. There was an increase in invites to come over for pizza etc. So I had noticed the husband and another neighbor looking at each other oddly. It rubbed me the wrong way. I told my husband I did not want to keep hanging out- that our daughters could be friends but that didn't mean we had to be. He seemed to accept that and we moved on. 2 months later I get an email from the husband telling me that he found hundreds of phone calls and text messages between his wife and my husband from mid-January through End of February. So I confrnt my husband and "they were just friends" I freak out I knew he was lying. we went to see his therapist (yes, he was seeinga therapist and told her NONE of this) and when we got home I told him I didn't believe him. Next morning he comes clean with the entire affair. BAsically 7 weeks of calls, meetings and one romp in a hotel room. Since then I've gotten all I need to know. He's (I think) trying to be honest. He does not want to see this woman - that I believe. 1) her husband is PISSED and 2) I think he does want to work this out. I had him out of the house for 5 weeks. He's starting to stay more and more because how do you begin to fix things if you aren't interacting. Ugh. My life is a drama now- NONE of whichI asked for. I have to see that whore everyday. I want to move but the timing is terrible. We put up a tree line to try and block them out but when planted the trees are too short to provide the necessary screen. I absolutely hate him/her/me, feel sad, mad, confused all at the same time. I have anxiety/depression issues that began with the birth of my first daughter. I have had a constant anxiety attack since I found out. I take 2 meds but they are not helping. I guess I just get so empty. I'm so overhwlemed I'm nothing. I can't sort anything out. How do you do this??
