JAMJACKS76's Journal

Well, for the last few days I've been in alot of pain,.....I dred going to the doctor....to hear the same thing...I recently told someone...I've just given up.....its like I know what I need to do it just so hard to do....I used to be such a confident  person, but since i've broken down physically....and mentally*shurugs*I guest im looking for a handout thats not gonna happen, my Mom trys to be as supportive as she can, but i tend not to tell her too much i don't won't her worrying about me , I t=do my best too try and stay positive buts its not easy....although I have a vacation coming up in a few months...you would think I should be happy...but yet I know I won't enjoy it as much b'cuz of things that im physically unable to do .  Sometimes I even have negative thoughts*so negative that even bring me to tears as I write this*I try to keep them out of my mind some times I find some strength when I read my bible........maybe im not reading it enough.....though I read PSALM 34 verses 1-4 and I would just keep reading it over and over again . *gosh I KEEP CRYING*this journel stuff im not use to doing....well its late and i've been off for about 20 mins now....im gonna ivest in my own pc one of these days...hofully.....its better to type than write .