Deb619's Journal

i'M SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME I COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHY. I HATE MY SELF. I FEEL SO WEAK AND OUT OF CONTROL. IHATE MY LIFE, THIS IS NOT WHERE I WANTED TO BE, I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE KEPT ON GETTING BEATEN AND RAPED. i HATE MY MOM AND BEST FRIEND, WHY ARE THEY BEING SO SUPPORTIVE, I'M NOT WORTH IT. I DON'T WANT TO FACE WHAT I WENT THROUGH I WOULD RATHER DIE. BUT YES I KNOW I NEED TO. BUT I HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO BURY IT SO THAT I CAN FUNCTION, THE THOUGHT OF FACING IT AGAIN MAKES ME MAJORLY SICK. I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS.

     I GOT A BOOK CALLED THE PTSD SOURCEBOOK AND EVERY SYMPTOM THAT IS PTSD I HAVE WITH THE EXCEPTION ON SUBSTANCE ABUSE. THOUGH I JUST QUIT SMOKING 3 MONTHS AGO.  I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH IN ME ANYMORE TO DEAL WITH THIS! I WON'T MAKE IT OUT THE OTHER SIDE. GOD I NEED HELP BUT I DON'T , DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE????

   i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME