I'M SO ANGRY!
April 15, 2008 8:04pm
i'M SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME I COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHY. I HATE MY SELF. I FEEL SO WEAK AND OUT OF CONTROL. IHATE MY LIFE, THIS IS NOT WHERE I …
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Deb619’s Profile
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Deb619
is feeling Good
About Me
I'm a telesales rep. I have 1 son who is 4. My philosophy was live, laughh, and dream, now i just try to make ti from day to day while no one knows. I just started to live on my own, very scary for me. I love to read listen to music watch movies and just be with my son.
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Journal
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dumb,dumb,dumb
April 9, 2008 7:31pm
I fell so dumb. I started a new job 2 weeks ago and my manager, who is a guy , is very animated. I have to half way space my self out because he …
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little progress
April 8, 2008 10:03pm
I made it through 2 hrs of intense training with mostly men with being able to breathe even though I was very paraniod. yeah
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anxiety city
April 8, 2008 12:08am
Everything makes me nervous. I wait for something to go wrong, and hope it doesn't. I can't walk down the street without being …
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whats wrong with me?
April 7, 2008 9:49pm
I don't feel like myself, even my messed self. I have been moving and one thing after another keeps going wrong. the latest is that my toilet is …
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Hugbook
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Let me know how you've been. Take care.
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Thanks! I hope you are well too. Have a great week..Big Hug! :)
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I just wanted to give you a great big hug. StacyDianna
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Hey... just read your profile.. I'm so sorry. We have almost excalty the same symtoms... if you need anyone to take to ever.. I'm here...
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Hello, I debated on whether or not to send a hug... I was afraid to trigger you... but, reading your posts brought tears to my eyes and I had to do something... I cannot relate to the rape, but I can to the worthlessness... Feeling like, why go on? Whats the purpose? Who cares? I'd be better off dead and so would the world! I can't go on... Suicide enters my mind, often actually... most of the time I know is my heart asking for help and I remember a key phrase that has helped me all along... it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... My efforts are in relationship, I don't think any woman would want me if they really knew me so although I try like the dickens, I sometimes self sabotage - test her, do stupid shit to see if they will leave... But the heart is the feeling that there is something wrong with me, it is a core issue from childhood, being the 'problem child' as my dad used to say... This is where the worthlessness comes from and it keeps me from being a whole human being... I have been doing better over years and I guess I would offer you the same hope... Take time... It WILL get better...
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
My story... I married a man that 6 months after we were married he began to rape me and abuse me physically, verbally, mentally, and spiritually. I would work and would come home and he wouldn't need a reason to start the abuse. I was raped whenever he felt like it. My son is a product of rape. When I had my son my c-section got infected and he didn't care he started raping me again after 3 weeks after my son was born. I have since divorced him and he doesn't have any contact with my son.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- helps me breathe
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- just finally started.
- Reading Working / Worked
- lets me escape
- Xanax Working / Worked
- controled the severe panic attacks
Close Rape
My story... I married a man that 6 months after we were married he began to rape me and abuse me physically, verbally, mentally, and spiritually. I would work and would come home and he wouldn't need a reason to start the abuse. I was raped whenever he felt like it. My son is a product of rape. When I had my son my c-section got infected and he didn't care he started raping me again after 3 weeks after my son was born. I have since divorced him and he doesn't have any contact with my son.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- mainly writing down what happened.
Open Anxiety
after we were married he began to rape me and abuse me physically, verbally, mentally, and spiritually. I would work and would come home and he wouldn't need a reason to start the abuse. I was raped whenever he felt like it. My son is a product of rape. When I had my son my c-section got infected and he didn't care he started raping me again after 3 weeks after my son was born. I have since divorced him and he doesn't have any contact with my son.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Not Working
- jsut puts me further into a panic attack
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- fake it but have yet to make it
Open Painful Intercourse
after we were married he began to rape me and abuse me physically, verbally, mentally, and spiritually. I would work and would come home and he wouldn't need a reason to start the abuse. I was raped whenever he felt like it. My son is a product of rape. When I had my son my c-section got infected and he didn't care he started raping me again after 3 weeks after my son was born. Whenever he did me it felt like glass and sandpaper up there. Even before my son.
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